Tsukimaonichuan: Spring of Drowned Moon Cat
by Innortal
Summary: You asked for it, and here it is. Ranma fell into Tsukimaonichuan: Spring of Drowned Moon Cat. How will he fair as Minako's advisor?
1. Chapter 1

**Ranma ½**

**Chapter 1**

**Tsukimaonichuan:****Spring of Drowned Moon Cat**

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave.

If you like, please review, as well as let me know of any spelling errors. I will then re-upload this chapter when I do my next upload.

If you like, check out my other stories.

I also plan to start sending these out to have someone else proofread them before I post them. Volunteers are welcome.

Now, on with the show.

* * *

_**This intro for the series was given by Shadowbakasama**_

Sailor Pluto knew it was nearly time for the Senshi to awaken to their powers, there was just one problem.

"Where are those Damn Moon Cats?" Sailor Pluto yells in frustration pulling at her hunter tresses. "I've been using the Time Gates to find them for months now and nothing!"

"Time Gates, expand the search radius by increments of 1,000 km every hour until you find me a Moon Cat." she commands. "I'm going to get some asprin and have a lie down."

"**Yes, Ma'am,**" the AI replied.

* * *

**#Bzzzt# #Bzzzt# #Bzzzt#**

_Damn, what is it now!_ Pluto thought to herself as she got up and answered the comm. "What is it? Did you find Luna or Artemis?"

**"A white male Moon Cat has been located in the Bayankala mountain range in the People's Republic of China,"** the monotone voice replies.

"I'll be right there," she said, causing her seifuku to appear with her staff, before teleporting from her bedroom to the Gates of Time.

"Alright, show me the location of this Moon Cat."

The Time Gates showed a map display of the PRC with a set of crosshair over a mountain range.

"Why would he be out there? All the Senshi should be in Japan. Hmm. Give me a world map and display the locations of all inactive Senshi."

The display changed and showed a flat world view with a blob of overlapping crosshairs over Tokyo, and one set of yellow crosshairs on London.

"Ah. One of them is out of the country. But there's still no reason for Artemis to be out in the boondocks of China... Give me a 10 meter side view of the Moon Cat."

The Gates of Time fogged over and resolved into a view of a hillside with a white cat chasing a large wounded panda down a path next to a cliff. The panda pushed a boy with a large backpack out of his way and the cat jumped up and uses his face as a launch pad to lead after the panda. The hiker staggered and almost caught his balance, before falling off the cliff into the springs below.

"Why in the Hell is Artemis after a panda?"

The chase went on until the panda is cornered by the small white cat. When the panda turned and take a fighting stance on two legs against the cat, Sailor Pluto realized that the panda must be possessed by a youma, and that Artemis must be out of his mind to fight it on his own.

Teleporting to the scene Sailor Pluto lines up on the panda-youma with her Time Key staff and whispered, "_Dead Scream._"

The panda, seeing a woman in a hentai school uniform appear from nowhere and attack him, pulled out a sign and threw it at the cat, and then jumped off the trail and ran down the hillside.

Pluto's attack hits the ground behind where the panda had stood and tossed up a cloud of dirt, and Pluto noticed that she had distracted Artemis so that he didn't dodge that thrown sign.

Walking over to the downed Moon Cat Sailor Pluto asks "Hey! Artemis, are you okay?"

The white cat rubs his paw on the golden crescent on his head, and then he looks at her and says, "Mrryow?"

_Damn, that knock on the head must have made him feral,_ Sailor Pluto thought to herself as she tried to get the cat to come to her. "Here kitty-kitty, come here, Artemis."

When the cat just gives her one of those looks that seems to say "Uh uh, you come here!" she got off her knees and walked over and picked him up. Holding him up in front of her face she says, "You are still such a lazy stubborn cat." Then, she rubbed noses with him and held him across her chest and petted him. "But I'm still glad to see you. I don't know why you were after that panda, but I'm going to drop you off in England in an area that I detected one of the Senshi. Since there is only one of them in London you should be able to go right to her."

* * *

_**We now resume our usual Innortal psychosis...**_

By the time Ranma's mind finally resurfaced, he was confused, cold, scared, and very hungry.

Of course, the last item was of more importance to Ranma than the others.

All he remembered was Jusenkyo. It wasn't everyday where your father was turned into panda, and then stupidly continued the attack and made you cursed as well.

Ranma could never forget that curse: he was turned into a white cat.

He could only guess the Nekoken had taken over, but for how long and what it did was beyond him. All he knew was that he was awake from it, and somehow now in England. _Well, at least things couldn't get any worse._

"Oh, you're such a cute little kitty!"

_Okay, things could get worse!_

* * *

Ranma sat in a small animal bed, watching as the hyperactive blond went about trying to make him something edible. Two wet towels were on the floor beside him and a third one that was for the most part dry covered his now slightly damp fur. Apparently she had been on her way to pick up a new cat that her parents finally allowed her to get when she came across Ranma in the alley.

"Now, I have a nice saucer of milk for you, and some premium grade cat food mixed in with some tuna. I hope you like it… Hey, watch it, those are my fingers!"

Minako watched as the cat seemed to inhale the food. Within a few seconds, her meal had vanished, with the cat now licking the plates clean. "Wow, that was quick; I wonder if all cats eat that fast?"

Ranma winced at that. "Hey, I ain't that bad!" _Wait, did I just say that out loud?_

Minako was just staring at the cat. "Um, did you just speak Japanese?"

Ranma was ecstatic. "Yes, I can talk! I can talk!"

Minako, however, had had enough, and thus passed out.

Ranma narrowly missed being flattened by his savior. "Great, I find out I can talk, and I have no one to talk to."

* * *

Minako stared at the white cat as it was gobbling up some more food. "So let me get this straight. You are really a boy who got knocked into a cursed spring by his father, who ended up cursed to be a panda. You went mad because of a technique the louse taught you that made you afraid of the very thing you became, and somehow ended up in England."

Ranma paused at licking the now clean plate to think. "Yep, that about covers it."

Minako shook her head. "Man, that's really a punch in the shoe."

Ranma shook his head. "I think you mean kick in the pants."

"Well, that too." She paused and thought about things. "Maybe you're a magical pet, trying to find your lost princess so that she can give you the kiss of true love and restore your humanity."

"I think you've been reading too many mangas."

Her smile began to grow. She knew that if the boy was a martial artist before he was cursed, then he had to be in shape. A boy who was in shape was always cute. And a cute available boy equaled available boyfriend. Now, if she could just figure out how to get him to change back to being the cute boy.

After her parents had arrived home, Minako set her plan to get her hunky boy-toy in action. "Daddy?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Daddy, I need your help. I need to write a report on a mystical place, and I drew some place called Jusenkyo, but I can't find anything on it. Can you help me?" She then proceeded to give a cute sad face so strong, even Ranma wanted to help her, and he had been there.

"Sure, sweetie. Let me do an internet search, and get you all set up." He began typing away when he saw the white animal by the door. "Man, England has big rats!"

"Daddy, that's my new cat, Ranma."

"Ranma? You named a cat after a horse?"

"Daddy, can we not talk about that?"

"Okay, just remember to make an appointment with the vets tomorrow for the shots he'll need when we head back to Japan. Hate to have him stuck in customs because of a technicality." He returned to typing on his computer. "Man, glad that cat doesn't know what it's in for tomorrow."

Ranma however, was cringing, and wondering where he could hide. Shots were definitely not something he wanted.

After her father found the pages, he left her alone to do the "studying". "Let's see. Jusenkyo: Pools of Sorrow...very tragic story...yadda yadda yadda..."

"See if you can find what I hit. I doubt I hit a simple Drowned Cat."

"I'm looking...um, here we go. Tsukimaonichuan: Spring of Drowned Moon Cat. This spring is one of the oldest in Jusenkyo. It is believed that a magical cat drowned in it about 10,000 years ago. Now all who fall into it are cursed to change into magical pet cats and seek out a magic girl." Minako's eyes grew wide, before she jumped out. "YES, I'M A MAGIC GIRL!"

Ranma lowered his head. "Of all the lousy, freaking, ignorant... Why the hell couldn't I have landed in a spring like the Drowned Girl one? Damn you, Pops!"

* * *

"Why great-grandmother say we chase too too stupid panda-man?"

"She no tell us, but dumb panda sneeze much lately."

"Why we speaking in Japanese?"

"Author no know. We just do as told."

"Aiyah! Too too stupid plot holes."

* * *

Minako had waited until her parents had left for the day. It was Sunday, and a local holiday meant she wouldn't have to be in school Monday as well.

Now, she was in the bathroom, with a now nervous Moon Cat. "Come on, Ranma. Don't you want to see if you can be human again?"

"Well, yeah."

"Then why aren't you jumping into the tub?"

"Because I'll come out naked, and you're still in here."

Minako sighed. _I really wanted to see what a fishcake he was._ "Listen, Ranma, the site said you would seek out a magical girl to train, correct?"

"Um, yeah."

"And I am that girl, correct?"

Ranma squinted his eyes. "Well, your aura does have a lot of something in it that could be magic, so I guess so."

"So that means you have to train me, by orders of the Powers That Be."

"Powers that what's-it?"

"It means you have to teach me to fight the evil that lurks in the shadows, because it's my destiny."

Ranma sighed out loud. He wasn't comfortable teaching a girl to fight, but if these Powers said she was destined to, then he would make certain she could kick some ass. "I guess so."

"So," she lifted Ranma up, and proceeded to toss him into the bath, "change already!"

The white cat hit the water, which soon exploded into the form of a sixteen year old male. "GAH! Did you have to throw me?" He was about to ask why she wasn't responding, when he saw something in his hand. "Damn, where did this little pen come from? I guess it must be yours, Minako. Minako?"

Minako was gone, lost in the sight of the naked Adonis before her.

Ranma suddenly felt a weight on his chest, forcing him back into the bath water. When he surfaced, he found a drenched blond glomping onto him. "MY PRINCE HAS COME FOR ME!"

He shook his head. _Man, why me._

* * *

Omake by Lord Raa:

"Minako, your mother and I have been talking about your cat, Ranma."

"Yes, Daddy?" Minako smiled sweetly at her parents.

"We think that it would be best if we had him neutered."

"Ok, Daddy," Minako agreed obliviously.

'Uh-oh,' Ranma thought as he saw that his trainee magical girl didn't understand what this meant for him. Backing away from the room, he decided he needed to speak with the young blonde.

Minako answered knock on the door. "Can I help you?"

A green haired woman dressed in a business suit smiled. "I'm here to provide a timely distraction for you pet cat and a warning to you."

"What?"

"If you have Ranma neutered, he'll lose some of his boy parts."

Minako blinked as it sank in. "NNNOOO!"

She rushed back to see her father.

"I can't let you lose you naughty bits, Ranma," the green haired woman winked at the cat that was now breathing a sigh of relief. "I'm destined to part of your marriage when Crystal Tokyo is founded."

Ranma sweatdropped.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ranma ½**

**Chapter 2**

**Tsukimaonichuan:****Spring of Drowned Moon Cat**

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave.

If you like, please review, as well as let me know of any spelling errors. I will then re-upload this chapter when I do my next upload.

If you like, check out my other stories.

I also plan to start sending these out to have someone else proofread them before I post them. Volunteers are welcome.

Now, on with the show.

* * *

Ranma sighed as he sat in the office chair in the study of the Aino home. The parents were away at work, Minako was in school, and Ranma was human. He was wearing some of Minako's Father's clothes.

Currently, he was checking out this "Internet' that Minako seemed to know so much about.

Curiously, he did have to wonder how Jusenkyo had a website, since it was in remote China.

* * *

The Jusenkyo Guide smiled. Soon, he would have enough revenue from his website to get that Mail Order Bride.

Normally, he would dunk an animal like the Musk.

But, he preferred it his wife didn't pee on the furniture.

* * *

Deciding it was best not to dwell on it, he resumed his looking around on the Net. The links on the Jusenkyo website really went into a lot of stuff.

Of course, what he really enjoyed was the posting from a few years ago by someone named Happosai. It was a web-book on Amazon Fighting Techniques.

Wiping the drool from his mouth at the depth and abilities that such techniques offered, he began to try and print them. Minako would need a lot of training, and was in relative good shape with her time in Volleyball, but she was apparently chosen by some Powers that Be, so he needed to train her. "It would just be so much damn easier if these Powers just made me their chosen. Ain't right to send a cute girl like her to fight them. I mean—

"Hey, I can order some clothes on this thing! Cool!" Lifting up the keyboard, he found the credit cards of Mr. Aino. "After all, I can't train Minako while nude, despite what she says."

* * *

Well, time passes as it always does. Ranma had taken to training Minako in the park near her home. She was forced to give up volleyball, but when she compared that to training with her boyfriend—that's what she called him to her friends—she made the simple choice.

Of course, her reputation wasn't hurt by the fact that Ranma was always waiting for her after school in his birth form.

Well, he was when his clothes arrived and Minako was able to buy his silk boxers.

Granted, she hated trying to pick chestnuts out of a fire. Being slammed against rocks did not meet her high points.

Of course, the massages from Ranma afterwards were more then enough reward.

Of course, he seemed much more nervous when Minako got him to agree that if she mastered a move, she got to make out with him for five minutes, no exceptions.

Who knew that with the proper motivation, anyone could match Ranma's learning curve?

Depending on whose side you are on, Ranma not knowing what "make out" means was either a good or bad thing.

This did however earn them many whistles and displeased looks from other people in the park.

But what mattered to Minako the most was the jealous looks from her friends. They had to date regular boys still in junior high, who were more controlled by their hormones than a politician was corrupt. While she had a hunk that was a great martial artist, had a body to die for, looked about three to four years older than her, and an air of mystery about him.

Of course, there were some...other...things that helped.

* * *

"So, Minako," her friend, Sandy, began, "I bet you've got him wrapped around your finger."

"Yep, he's all mine, and I've never been happier." She was currently snuggled up against her boy toy/advisor/sensei/pet.

"So, Ranma," asked Mindy, "what's she like in bed?"

Minako blushed, about to state they hadn't gone that far, when Ranma answered. "Well, I wish she could keep her hands to herself, I barely get any sleep."

Ranma was of course, referring to the fact that she kept grabbing him while he was a cat and squeezing him during her dreams.

Everyone else assumed something far more perverted.

Now while the guys knew better than proposition Minako since Ranma was her boyfriend, that did not stop the girls from asking questions of their one friend who was apparently sleeping with her boyfriend, and apparently enjoying him way too much.

* * *

Of course, that is not to say Minako was happy with her time with Ranma as it was. She did find...other ways...to enjoy him.

* * *

_My charge is a hormone crazed girl._

Now he was willing to admit Minako was cute. He was even willing to admit she would do well as Sailor V.

What he wasn't willing to admit was whenever her parents left; she would grab a glass of hot water and try to pour it over him. "Minako, you know I haven't learned to shift my clothes yet. Stop trying to return me to my normal form."

"But you deserve to go around human for a while."

"Then why are you naked…again?"

Minako blushed. "Well, so we can train."

"Right. You just want to jump me again."

She was quick and got him with the hot water. She was even quicker latching onto him.

"GAH!"

"Hmm, warm and cuddly."

* * *

Soon though, Ranma became determined to help her in her fight against crime and the Dark Syndicate.

Of course, this meant Minako decided to play a guy's worst fear: dress up!

* * *

"I am not wearing this!"

Ranma stared in the mirror. He looked like a messed up version of Superman. The only difference was that the phrase "Sailor V's Boy Toy" was stitched on the cape, his tights were green instead of blue, and the underwear on the outside left very little to the imagination.

Minako was staring at that, in fact, drooling. "Um, we'll save this for later, when we need to spice things up."

"Spice what up?"

"Never mind."

* * *

Finally, an outfit was agreed upon. Well, Ranma agreed upon it, Minako kept trying to remove more clothing from it.

He wore a simple grey outfit that looked more in place with a sci-fi show than in normal life. His face was hidden behind a mask like those used by desert bandits. The only exposed part of him was his eyes, so as to not allow any chance of his father finding out that he was in Britain, assuming he left Jusenkyo. To complete it, he carried a Japanese katana. Since touching youma resulted in them draining his ambient life force, he decided to use the sword as a focusing tool, which enabled him to slice and dice them.

Of course, to his displeasure, Sailor V's Crescent Beam still outdid the sort of damage he could do.

That made him second best, which spurned him to be better, which in turn made Minako struggle to stay better, as Ranma had more passion in his kisses when he was trying to outdo her.

Together, as Omega Knight and Sailor V, they dispensed justice in Britain.

Of course, Minako would always add...incentives...to her reasons to fight.

After all, justice didn't get you a boy toy or increase your make-out time with him.

* * *

"Ranma." Minako was using a sing-song voice.

Ranma was tempted to run under the bed or out the window into the newest storm to hit Great Britain. When Minako sounded like that, it usually followed her splashing him with hot water to glomp onto him again. "Uh...Minako...um...yes?" He looked around nervously, noting with new horror that she wasn't holding any water, was fully dressed, and smiling the smile that meant he was in serious trouble of the kissing kind.

"I have a dare for you, Ranma. Are you man enough to take it?" _Wait for it..._

"I AM A MAN! I'LL TAKE THAT DARE!"

"Um, wouldn't you like to know what it is first?"

A huge sweatdrop had formed on his head. "Um...y-y-yeah. That might help."

"If in a fight I beat more baddies than you, I want you to take me to a movie, where we make out until it is over."

"I don't know. I don't exactly have any cash, and your dad is hiding his credit cards again after I ordered my clothes."

"Well, I can always pay for it. Unless of course, you're chicken and scared of loosing." _Wait for it..._

"I NEVER LOSE! YOU'RE ON!"

She smirked as she shook his paw. _That was as easy as taking candy from a priest._

After a few seconds, Ranma's mind finally caught up to his ego and mouth. "Um...Minako, what do I get if I win?"

"Why, we get to make out at school during lunch."

"Hey, that doesn't sound right. Shouldn't I get something **I **want?"

"Are you saying that you don't want to make out with me?"

Ranma eeped and slammed backwards into the wall. Minako was currently glowing red; her eyes became a deep yellow as she stared him down. Ranma immediately began shaking his head. "No-no-no-no! I love making out with you!"

_**And self preservation takes the lead!**_

"Good, then it's a bet! See you after school, Ranma!"

The moon cat sighed. He had just been played, with no way of winning.

* * *

Pluto was upset.

Well, that was putting it mildly. It had been six months since she found Artemis and sent him to find and train the Senshi in England.

But she had yet to find another moon cat to train the others. _I may have to alter things and have Artemis return with that Senshi to awaken and train the others._

"**Moon cats detected."**

Pluto blinked, staring at the Gates of Time. "You mean I left those search parameters on?" She walked up to the Gates. "What is the current location of these new moon cats?"

"**Planet of location is Pluto."**

"Huh?"

"**Narrowing... Location is confirmed as under the bed of Queen Pluto."**

She looked even more confused as she went to her room, pulling things from under her bed.

Finally, after removing a tie-dyed shirt from her time at Woodstock; signed by Jimmy Hendrix—and mentioning that she was a wild ride in the sack, she discovered two cryo-capsules.

"Wait, you mean they were here all this time!" She started banging her head against the wall for a few minutes at her own stupidity, before remembering that there was no one around to call her on this mistake. "It never happened. I meant to do this. Yeah...not a mistake."

She then looked at the names listed on them. "Luna...she'll be the best one to go after the Princess. And the other is...ARTEMIS!"

Pluto was stunned. Had she not left Artemis with the Senshi in England? Was that actually a youma in disguise?

First, she confirmed it was Artemis by cleaning off the viewing window, seeing a white moon cat that she thought she had sent to England. After starting the wakeup sequence, she teleported back to the Gates, using their power to check on the Senshi.

Shocked did not cover what she saw.

Not only was Sailor Venus awake, but she was a year ahead of schedule in destroying the Dark Syndicate. She was looking more like a trained fighter rather than a bumbling teenager.

Of course, her helper was another surprise.

"Who the hell is Omega Knight? Don't tell me Endymion is in England as well. He's supposed to be with the Princess."

She began searching for where this new warrior had come from, as she recalled no such person during the Silver Millennium.

This was too much for the Senshi of Time as she watched Omega Knight unmask to reveal Ranma Saotome, and change into the white moon cat she had thought was Artemis.

Of course, what she discovered only shocked her more. "SHE IS MAKING OUT WITH HER ADVISOR!"

Lucky time passed as she willed it there. She was going to be out cold for a long time.

* * *

Omake by Typhonis:

She looked even more confused as she went to her room, pulling things from under her bed.

Finally, after removing a tie-dyed shirt from her time at Woodstock; signed by Jimmy Hendrix-and mentioning that she was a wild ride in the sack, she discovered two cryo-capsules.

"Wait, you mean they were here all this time!" She started banging her head against the wall for a few minutes at her own stupidity, before remembering that there was no one around to call her on this mistake. "It never happened. I meant to do this. Yeah...not a mistake."

"Wow, lady, what's in those weird stasis capsules?"

Setsuna turned to face one Raiden Saotome as he smiled mischievously at her. She looked at the capsules then at him. She noted his dimensional vehicle outside her door.

"What would it cost me to keep you quiet about this?"

Raiden smiled at her "Well..."

Nine months later...

"Setsuna ...why does your child have monkey's tail?" Michiru asked. Hotaru was happy that she got to play big sister finally though she did wonder why Chibi-Usa kept looking at the green haired baby and giggling.

* * *

Omake #1 by Shadowbakasama:

**"Scan completed. 58 moon cats detected."**

Pluto blinked, staring at the Gates of Time. "You mean I left those search parameters on?" She walked up to the Gates. "Give me a list of these moon cats."

The Gates of Time displayed a chart of Moon Cats sorted by location with some information on each one.

"Moon Palace, deceased, cause of death: depressurization. 15 of those. Venus Citadel, dome breach, methane poisoning. 5 desiccated remains. Phobos, depressurization."

"Damn vacuum mummies. Gate, eliminate all deceased moon cats from the list."

**"Four non-deceased moon cats listed."**

"OK, one on Earth, check. One on Triton Station orbiting Uranus? ... Oh, I remember now, that's Ferris. I stuck him in that meat locker after he used my underwear drawer as a litter box when I visited. Damn territorial tomcat. Heh-heh, I told Queen Uranus that her cat probably stowed away on a shuttle to get to the Moon and try and score with Luna. Strange that he's still viable, that's one tough 'cat. And two located in Pluto Palace? ... Gate, give me a map of Pluto Palace centered on their location."

"Hmm, that's my bedroom."

Sailor Pluto teleports to her room and looks under the bad. "Luna! Artemis! Get out from under my bed you scaredy cats! The war's been over for 10,000 years!"

* * *

Omake by GaelicDragon:

Ranma had known that he was in trouble from the moment Minako had walked into the door. For one thing, she was carrying a bag from the Pet Store. The other thing was that grin of hers that spelled nothing but trouble.

"Um...what's in the bag Minako," nervously asked Ranma. There was a faint smell that seemed familiar. For some reason, the usual alarm bells had turned to klaxons. Ah well, how bad could it get...

"I got you a toy Ranma," stated Minako as she waves the catnip mouse right in Ranma's face.

"HEY WAIT A MINTTUUUUT...WWWWohhh," replied Ranma, as he proceeded to get stoned out of his mind.

"Well, that wasn't supposed to happen," remarked Minako as she watched her cat develop a dazed expression. She expected Ranma to get more playful, hopefully frisky. Not stoned out of his mind like Ranma was getting. Maybe catnip was bad for talking cats.

* * *

Omake #2 by Shadowbakasama:

After Setsuna wakes from her unscheduled nap, she gets a bottle of Vodka from her emergency supplies and goes back to the Time Gate.

'I've got to check to see how this impacts the future.' Sailor Pluto thinks. "Gate, scan forward 6 months along the most probable future timeline and show me Aino Minako."

The Gates fog and scan forward rapidly, too fast too see the action, and then came to rest on a picture of Minako, she was crying as her stern looking mother forced her into a white maternity wedding dress. It looked like Minako was about 5 months pregnant and well on her way to being a mother before she even got into high school.

"Oh my! I'll have to give Ranma a talking to and see if I can't find some magical contraceptives for them."


	3. Chapter 3

**Ranma ½**

**Chapter 3**

**Tsukimaonichuan:****Spring of Drowned Moon Cat**

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave.

If you like, please review, as well as let me know of any spelling errors. I will then re-upload this chapter when I do my next upload.

If you like, check out my other stories.

I also plan to start sending these out to have someone else proofread them before I post them. Volunteers are welcome.

Now, on with the show.

* * *

Ranma knew he was in trouble. There was no doubt about it.

No, he wasn't worried about the shots that Minako's parents were insisting he get, in case the father was transferred back to Japan.

No, he wasn't worried about the fact that Minako's mother was wanting him to start wearing a flea collar and chase down the mice for the neighbors.

No, he wasn't even worried about Mrs. Appledorn's cat, Felicia, which was now in heat, and whose owner was hoping for such cute kittens.

No. He was worried about the fact that his charge was missing. Not missing as in the need for posters and available space on milk cartons. She was missing as in hiding and likely to try and have her way with him...again.

Today they had cancelled her school because of a busted water line.

So he was all alone...in a big house...with his charge...for the next several hours.

Hell yeah, he'd admit he was scared.

He listened at the door to their room, trying to find out if she was hiding outside it.

No sound.

Gently, he opened the door.

He looked right. Nothing.

He looked left. Nothing.

_Maybe she went shopping?_

His question was answered when he felt hot water being poured on him from above, triggering his change from cat into nude man.

Gulping, he slowly raised his head and saw Minako holding herself up along the ceiling with one arm and two legs, her free arm holding the now empty kettle, and as underdressed as he was.

"BANZAI!"

He never knew what hit him.

* * *

Pluto looked at the two moon cats before her. If not for Ranma, she would simply set Luna—the more responsible one—to find the princess, and send Artemis to train Sailor Venus, so as to distract the Dark Kingdom from the true princess.

With Ranma, that was no longer necessary.

"Luna, I will send you to find and train the Inners in Japan. If possible, locate the princess."

"Understood," said the black female cat.

She thought for a moment, and decided she had best place Artemis somewhere where he would not be harmful. Truth be told, she would rather have that Ranma moon cat training all of the Senshi. Sailor Venus had just about eliminated the Dark Kingdom presence in Great Britain, and was now taking a major bite out of local crime.

Sighing, she realized she was stuck with what she had. "Artemis, you will head to Juuban. I have already found Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune. You will train them."

Artemis growled. "Why do I get stuck with those two boy-hungry bimbos?"

Pluto blinked. _Oh, he doesn't know._

"Every damn time they visited the palace, it was "Doesn't that one have a cute butt?" and "This guy has so much stamina!" and "He was the best I ever had!""

"Artemis." Pluto tried to get his attention.

"I swear, they were such airheads. All they ever did was giggle and flirt with the palace guards!"

"Artemis," she said a little more forcefully.

"I swear, one time I caught Uranus in the royal chambers giving a guard a—"

"ARTEMIS!"

The white moon cat stopped. "What?"

"They aren't like that in this life."

The cat refused to believe his luck. "So what, they're nuns?"

"No...lesbians."

The two cats stared at Sailor Pluto like she had just told them that Queen Serenity was really a guy in drag. "Excuse us?"

"In this life, they are soul bonded to each other."

"I see," said Artemis. _Lesbians?_

"So, I will send you to them, since you won't have to worry about them spending all their time chasing after boys. You will need to hurry there, though. They are set to take a musical tour in a few hours, and I would prefer if you woke them up first."

"I guess I can accept that, since I don't have to deal with those airheads again." _Lesbians!_

"Now, off you go. You each have my number to get a hold of me in case something goes wrong."

"Yes, and the location of our contact at the Crown Arcade." Luna was ready to go.

"Understood." _LESBIANS! SAILOR SUITED LESBIANS! THANK YOU, SERENITY!_

As they teleported away, Pluto couldn't help but think things were going to go bad.

* * *

As Ranma lay on the bed, finally clothed after his Minako attack, he sneezed.

This sneeze disturbed the air.

This disturbed air eventually lead to a temperature fluctuation.

This fluctuation eventually caused a jet to alter course a fraction of a degree.

This change created a new wind, which altered the jet stream slightly.

This in turn, created a new storm over Japan.

This storm created some damage, which forced a seventeen year old Kasumi Tendo to take a detour...

...and see a strange white cat with a crescent moon on its forehead.

* * *

Artemis was strolling down the street, enjoying the sun on his back. It felt good for him to be walking around enjoying the sunlight on his back.

_SAILOR SUITED LESBIANS!_

Well, he was currently lucky his day dreams didn't get him run over.

He was on a mission. He had to reach the home of the two Outers within a few hours. Apparently, they were going on some sort of tour for a few weeks, and he would need to get there soon, or he would be left behind.

If he hadn't been busy daydreaming about what an "innocent little kitty" might be allowed to see, he would have asked Pluto to teleport him directly there.

So, instead, he was walking to their home.

"Oh my, what a cute kitty."

Well, he **was** walking to their home.

Now, he was in the arms of a teenage girl, who was seemingly able to find all the right areas to pet him to turn him into jelly.

"And look at this; you look exactly like Uncle Saotome said his son turned into. Well then, I better get you home, Ranma."

Artemis freaked. This woman was walking away from his heaven, from the two lovely looking Sailor Suited Warriors who had found love with each other.

He wanted to strike out at this girl. He needed to get back to those warriors.

Strictly for the purposes of his assignment, of course.

But as much as he tried, he just couldn't bring himself to injure or upset this girl that was now holding him.

So he took one last look towards his heaven._ My...my precious..._

* * *

Artemis looked up from his bowl. He had been depressed when he had first arrived, but found it harder to be mad at the Tendo girl who had "captured" him.

But the bowl of tuna and milk did help, somewhat.

But as he finished his first meal in 10,000 years, what he raised his eyes to didn't exactly make him feel better about the situation.

Staring intently at him was a fourteen year old girl with long blue hair, a fifteen year old girl with a brown pageboy haircut, and the seventeen year old Kasumi who picked him up. Beside them was a man with a mustache and dirty brown gi, with a man who wore a handkerchief on his head and a dirty white gi who had obviously not missed many meals.

_Oh yes, this is bad. Okay. Just act like a normal cat, and maybe they will either realize you are not this...Ranma...and let you go._

_Then, I can contact Pluto and she can teleport me to the Outers, and maybe fill me in as to why these people think a moon cat is their pet._

"Saotome, are you certain he is...safe?"

"Of course, Tendo, old friend. My boy's not some weak little girl!"

"You want to be pounded again, Uncle Saotome?"

"N-n-n-n-no, dear."

"So, shouldn't we see if we can change him back?"

_Change me back? Boy? Why would his child be a moon cat? This guy looks more like he would fit in with the Dark Kingdom than the Moon Kingdom._

And then, he felt scalding hot water poured on him.

"SON OF A BITCH! WHICH OF YOU FUCKERS DID THAT?"

So much for the cover of a simply cat.

He had talked.

Well, revenge may as well be satisfied.

Turning to the fat one still holding the kettle, his moon symbol began glowing. "Okay fat ass, you pay!"

What followed was a short battle as Genma found out that the moon cat didn't need physical size when it has magic that can fling you around like a rag doll.

The sisters would have helped their...Uncle...but they were enjoying the sight of a cat defeating the supreme martial artist.

"Saotome, I'll save you!"

Soon, they were enjoying the sight of their father undergoing similar treatment.

"Oh my, Ranma seems to be most upset with them?"

"Now that's an understatement."

"Those aren't moves from our school?"

"Akane, he's a cat! You honestly expect him to start breaking bricks?"

"NABIKI!"

"Oh dear, I wish he wasn't burying them in the yard like that."

The three sisters turned to see Artemis send another mound of dirt onto the two fathers, burying them completely up to their heads.

After scratching their faces for final revenge, since they were buried in the tightly and magically packed dirt too much to move, he returned inside, taking several calming breaths. It had been a while since he had acted like that.

Sadly for those two, he enjoyed it, so his body made certain to remember how to do that for their next...lesson.

As he padded back inside, he levitated his bowl up to the oldest girl. "Um, please, Ma'am, may I have some more?"

"Oh, of course, Ranma."

"Um...my name is Artemis."

"Oh, my mistake. Mr. Saotome told us you were named Ranma."

He suppressed the need to twitch, not wanting to insult the great food maker. "Well, I am Artemis. No clue who this "Ranma" is."

"Okay then."

Akane was not the smartest person in the world. One only needed to look at her grades, her workout routine, and the fact that most of the outfits she bought ended up in Nabiki's closet to know this.

So, she went on a simple thought process.

This cat was not Ranma...the estranged and missing fiancé of the Tendo Sisters.

This was good, as she didn't want to be married to someone who changed into a cat, least of all, a male cat.

Boys were perverts and called beautiful and vibrant women "tomboys".

But this cat was a magical cat.

As a rule magical cats and other magical animals didn't reveal themselves to anyone other than their chosen magical girls, according to what she read from Nabiki's manga when she could find them.

After all, it wasn't her fault the authors made the stories that didn't meet her expectations and she was forced to destroy the horrible little comic.

So, finally, she added two and two, and got a messed up four. Magical cat plus that he revealed himself to them equaled... "WE'RE MAGIC GIRLS!"

And people thought only Minako could make leaps of logic that grand.

Kasumi had just set Artemis's bowl in front of him when Akane made the proclamation, now drawing the attention of her sisters and the startled moon cat. "Um, are you certain you should be proclaiming that, Akane? After all, what if the enemies hear you? Or the tabloids?"

Artemis was paled, well, as pale as a white furred moon cat could get. _Pluto's gonna kill me!_

Nabiki came out of her musings of how to use a magical cat for profit at Akane's words, finally figuring out the weird thought process her sister had come up with, before slapping her hand over Akane's mouth.

She didn't want to be a magical girl! They spent their time saving the world, and didn't get paid for the suffering and nearly daily battles of death they had to face. Their boyfriends always ended up dead when love bloomed, or were really the enemies in disguise.

Kasumi was only thinking of getting the nice talking cat a pillow to sleep on in her room. He was such a nice cat. He even wiped his paws from burying their fathers before coming inside.

Such a respectable magic cat.

* * *

Minako sat in the car as her parents were driving them back from the vet's.

Ranma was on her lap, moaning. The only thing keeping him from speaking out about his discomfort about those shots had been the small bandage on his forehead covering his moon symbol.

They had found out about that little effect when Minako placed a bow there to make him look cute for her friends.

As she petted her ailing cat/advisor/boy-toy, she still glared at her father from the back seat. "I can't believe you tried to get him fixed!"

Her father gulped and slid down slightly, as his wife was the one driving. "I just thought—"

"WHAT! You thought I wanted my Ranma without his pellets?"

"That's bullets, dear."

"Thanks, Mom. You think I wanted you to take the bullets out of Ranma's soccer field?"

Her mother remained quiet, wondering how her child was so bad at saying phrases like that.

Her father looked back to apologize for his mistake...

...only to see what looked like the white cat trying to flip him off.

He turned back around, believing that when he got home, he would take some more medication, as he was starting to see things again.

Ranma, however, was wondering what he could get away with for revenge against the man who had tried to get him fixed.

It was safe to say that the good man's credit rating was about to take a nose dive as his credit cards were going to be used for a shopping spree.

After all, Ranma always wanted a motorcycle.

* * *

As the two fathers had already dug themselves out, and went off to "contemplate their loss" at a local tavern, to the supposed son of one of them, the girl were left alone with said cat.

He stared nervously at the three daughters, while one kept smiling at him, occasionally mumbling about delivering "righteous vengeance to perverts everywhere."

So, he tried to look brave and unmovable. After all, had he not buried to full sized men in the backyard?

Well, he tried to look brave and unmovable.

Akane was soon before him, looking expectantly and demandingly into his eyes. "Well, make me a magic girl, NOW!"

"EEP!" The moon cat found out that, yes, the ceiling could support his weight.

"Oh dear, Akane, that wasn't very nice."

"Hey, he's supposed to make me a magic girl, and he better damn well do it if he knows what's good for him!"

Nabiki nibbled on her crackers again. "Well, doesn't he need to do some sort of test to make certain you **are** a magic girl?"

Artemis was back on the ground. "Yes, there is a test. I have to perform a flip. If it doesn't generate a henshin rod for you, then you **aren't** a magic girl." As Akane looked about ready to interrupt, he continued. "There is no second chance, I ain't broke, and I leave if you aren't, understood!"

"But I'm a magic girl!"

"That is for me, the great talking cat, to decide, not you, girlie!"

Artemis positioned himself for the henshin pin summoning jump after he awoke from the mallet Akane had used on him. As he leapt, he concentrated on landing. "Now see, no—"

He was stopped as he heard three distinct sounds of something hitting the table.

_No, my luck isn't that bad!_

He opened his eyes, turning around slowly, as his worst fears were realized.

Akane was holding a henshin pen, with the symbol of Titania, a moon of Uranus.

Kasumi was holding a henshin pen with the symbol of Triton, a moon of Neptune.

Nabiki was holding a henshin pen with the symbol of Charon, the lone moon of Pluto.

Sighing about his now being trapped, he decided to do what all great people have done. "I need a bottle of liquor and the phone, please."

He decided to make them Pluto's problem.

_Ranma, because of you, I've seen hell!_

Meanwhile, on the coast of Australia, a black piglet sneezed.

* * *

Omake by Lord Raa:

"But I'm a magic girl!"

"That is for me, the great talking cat, to decide, not you, girlie!"

Artemis positioned himself for the henshin pin summoning jump after he awoke from the mallet Akane had used on him. As he leapt, he concentrated on landing. "Now see, no—"

He was stopped as he heard three distinct sounds of something hitting the table.

No, my luck isn't that bad!

He opened his eyes, turning around slowly. He blinked as he took in the sight of the items that had fallen onto the table.

"Oh my," Kasumi exclaimed, "is that a riding crop?"

"It is, Kasumi," Nabiki confirmed. She reached out to pick it up and received an electric shock for her trouble. "Son of bitch-bastard-fuck hole!"

"Nabiki!" the oldest girl admonished, waving the riding crop in her right hand. "You shouldn't use such language!"

"Wait, how come you can touch it?" Nabiki asked. Again, she reached out for the stick. "AARGH!"

Kasumi, still holding the crop wasn't affected by the shock.

"Most odd," Artemis mused. "What about the other items?"

Akane looked at the fire engine red multi-pronged device with a look of panic on her face. She poked it with an outstretched finger. "Ow! It shocked me!"

Nabiki poked it out of morbid curiosity. "Hmm, that didn't shock me."

The middle Tendo girl picked up the scary looking plastic appliance and examined it. "Eight speed settings?"

"What's this?" Akane asked picking up a ball-gag.

"Oh my," Kasumi said with a blush.

"You know what these are?" Nabiki turned to her sister.

"Yes," the long haired brunette nodded, her cheeks still colored.

Artemis's face fell. "Serenity save us! I didn't think that that sort of thing still went on."

"What is it, Artemis-chan?" Kasumi asked, thankful that she wouldn't have to explain why she knew what a ball-gag was.

"You're not the normal kind of Magical Girl ™!" the cat said in a panicked tone. He just knew that they weren't going to like what he had to say and began to plot an escape route.

"Spill, Kitty!" Nabiki loomed over the talking feline.

"It's not my fault! I didn't think that they still had that sort of thing!" Artemis cowered. "You're concubines, magically bound to someone of great importance. That's the only way I can think that this happened."

"Bound to whom?" Kasumi asked with blush.

"I don't know," Artemis admitted. "I can't think of anybody manly enough to warrant three sisters as concubines."

* * *

At the Aino house, Minako felt the need to glare at her sneezing cat. Not because he was disturbing her, but for some other, intangible reason.

"Ranma…" the blonde growled.

"What?" the cat asked.

"Why do I have the urge to punish you for being a playboy?"

Ranma's answer was cut off by the Appledorn's cat meowing outside.

* * *

**Omake by Shadowbakasama:**

So, instead, he was walking to their home.

"Susannette! Oh, Susannette, you're so kawaii!"

Artemis turned to the voice and saw a terrifying sight, a cute brown-haired girl wearing rollerblades and a disturbing amount of pink.

Poor Artemis was stunned into immobility by the pink as the hyper teenaged girl scooped him up.

"Now your going to come home with little Azusa because your so cute Susannette."

"Roowww!" Artemis cried in despair as the girl took off at ludicrous speed on her rollerblades, flying over stairs and out running all the traffic before turning into the driveway of a mansion. The white tomcat also found out that the girl had a serious grip since he couldn't break free without using his claws, and he didn't want to tear up the poor little girl.

"Now widdle Azusa will take Susannette to the kitchen and feed him some nice tuna and milk." She said as they went into the house. "Can't have a hungry kitty."

Well Artemis figured that he could have a meal before he tried to escape; besides from the look of the house this girl's family was rich.

"Oh Robespierre, could you make Susannette a nice snack?" Azusa asks the butler as she walks in.

"Not a problem Miss Azusa."

"Okay, just bring it back to my room. I'm going to show Susannette to widdle Charlotte, they'll look so cute together." She squealed in excitement, sounding so cute that it should make your teeth rot.

Azusa cuddled the poor moon cat _hard_ as she went to her room. Inside the room where shelves piled high with all sorts of sickening cute stuff, but she goes past all that and he sees something horrible, a cage made of twisted wrought iron bars that had been painted pink and gold.

"Oww, how is widdle Charlotte." She coos the little black pot-bellied pig in the disgusting cage. "Look Charlotte, I've brought you a friend to play with. This is Susannette, isn't she so cute!"

"Bwee! Buki snirt boo bwee!" The pig squeals in reply kicking the bars with his front trotters.

Seeing the girl opening a door on the top of the cage Artemis starts to struggle again while growling and yowling out in protest. But it was to no avail, he was dropped into the cage, and she quickly latched the door closed.

"Now Susannette play nice with Charlotte. I'll be back after dinner." Azusa says as she leaves the room.

Since he was alone with the pig Artemis decides he can rant a bit. "Damn, I was almost there. I was almost hooked up as the advisor to two hot lesbian chicks and I get grabbed by a ditz. When Luna hears about this I never hear the end of it."

The pig Charlotte stares at him in shock.

"Oh, I guess you never saw a talking cat before huh?"

The black little piggy shakes it's head.

Seeing a response from the pig Artemis decides to try something else.

"Is the hatch the only way out of this cage?"

"Buki." The pig says nodding it's head.

"Can you give me a lift up there?"

"Bweee!" The pig squeals before pushing the water dish over and standing on it's high legs on the rim of the bowl. Then the pig motions to Artemis to climb up.

"Thanks Charlotte." Artemis says before jumping onto the pig and latching his claws into the roof of the cage. By swinging back and forth Artemis is able to kick the door open with his rear legs. "Ha! I got it!"

After the cat and pig both jump out of the cage Artemis looks around for a way out of the room or a phone. Seeing that both windows are closed and no phone in sight he figures why not ask the pig, I mean it's worked so far, right?

"Do you know if she's got a phone in here?"

"Buki." Charlotte replies and goes to Azusa's purse and drags a cellphone out.

"Cool! Now what was Sailor Pluto's number?"

#Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep#

#Ring# #Ring# #Ring#

"Come on Pluto. Pick up already."

#Ring# #Ring# "This is Sailor Pluto, and I'm not here right now."

"Damn, got her machine."

"And if this is Artemis, you should have checked to make sure the girl wasn't watching you through the door."

Artemis turns around to see Azusa peeking through the window in the door.

"Damn!"

Azusa opens the door part way and comes in closing it behind her.

"Wow, widdle Azusa is so happy! She has a magical talking cat. Azusa must be meant to be a magical girl!"

"Um, actually you grabbed me when I was going to meet a couple of uh magical girls, so I don't think you're a magical girl, sorry."

Azusa gives him the sad puppy dog eyes look and starts to cry. "Are you sure? #sniffle# can't you do something to check and make sure?"

"Oh, all right. Stop crying and I'll give it a try, but if it doesn't work you've got to let me go. I've still got to catch up with those other two girls you know."

And so Artemis does his flip and drops a Henshin Pen.

"Yes, I am a magical Girl!" Azusa squeals jumping up and down and doing a happy dance after grabbing the pen.

"Hey! Show me the pen; I want to see which one you've got."

Azusa proudly displays her pen to him.

"Hmm. It looks like its for one of Neptune's moons, but I don't know which one."

"Oh. How do we find out?"

"Well, um, just hold up the pen and call out whatever comes to mind, I guess."

"Okays, here goes." Azusa says holding the pen up and then calling out "Thalassa Rock Power! Make Up!"

Suddenly Azusa becomes naked and the skin and hair glow brightly as she spins and dances around as multi-colored threads wrap her up and change into a sailor fuku with white leotard, baby blue skirt and collar, pink ribbons and ice skates.

_Sailor Thalassa! Oh, now I remember she was Sailor Neptune's cousin and the hung out with the two airheads all the time. She wouldn't stay out of the way in fights so they gave her a Henshin Pen and linked her powers to the 2nd smallest moon of Neptune. Darn rock is only 50 miles across._ Artemis thinks putting his paws over his eyes.

#Thump#

Both Artemis and Sailor Thalassa look to see Charlotte the pig lying on the floor with a massive nosebleed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ranma ½**

**Chapter 4**

**Tsukimaonichuan:****Spring of Drowned Moon Cat**

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave.

If you like, please review, as well as let me know of any spelling errors. I will then re-upload this chapter when I do my next upload.

If you like, check out my other stories.

I also plan to start sending these out to have someone else proofread them before I post them. Volunteers are welcome.

Now, on with the show.

* * *

Sailor Pluto was usually calm, cool, and collected.

But for the moment, she was wishing to be a little like Artemis right now...at least, in the way the male moon cat was piss drunk.

Before her sat the three Tendo sisters, the first three of the Outer Moon Senshi to ever exist.

You see, before the Great Fall, the scientists had been ordered by Queen Serenity to create a Mantel for her daughter, to allow the Princess to become the first Sailor Moon.

Well, it was originally supposed to be Sailor Luna, but it gave Luna the Moon Cat Advisor a swelled head, so it was changed to Sailor Moon.

Luna never did sit on the throne again and try to order people around.

But the doctors were able to remove the slipper Queen Serenity had lost when she buried it in Luna's ass.

Anyway, the order was given.

And as with any government order, it was delivered wrong after passing through 1,273 bureaucrats.

As a result, the scientists made Senshi Mantels for **every** moon.

Some of the chosen for this tasks and honors of becoming Senshi were even males. In fact, the one that came to mind was the delusional distant cousin of the current Queen Jupiter.

With any luck, Pluto was hoping he was not reborn.

Meanwhile, a certain Streaking Meteorite of the Kendo World sneezed, causing his sister's pet; Mr. Turtle, to start trying to eat him.

Anyway, she pulled the bottle from the now passed out advisor, hearing him mumble about his precious muses.

She had tried before, but like Luna, Artemis was a mean drunk.

But Kasumi was able to bandage Akane back up, while Pluto kept her from crushing Artemis for striking her like that.

Sighing, she looked over the girls. Of the three, only one had any current training in the Art, while the other two obviously had not taken it seriously for a while. And Akane seemed more likely to seek out and start a fight than try and prevent them.

_Why does that seem familiar?_ Pluto tried to recall who Akane reminded her of.

In Japan, certain yet to be awoken Senshi of Jupiter and Uranus sneezed.

Shaking her head, she knew this was going to be a long day.

* * *

Ranma had been looking through stores for over three hours, trying to find what Minako had requested he buy for her for her fourteenth birthday. He had learned that soon, her father was going to be transferred back to Japan, and she really wanted her last birthday here to be a blast.

Ranma was happy to buy her something, as he had managed to get a part time job helping in some dojos. They lacked any techniques he could learn, but it felt nice to train people who didn't seek to have their way with you on a fairly regular basis.

Well, most of them didn't. But Bill would understand sooner or later that Ranma just didn't like him that way.

"Ah man, I'll never find it!"

"Can we help you?"

Ranma turned to see two sales associates before him, man and woman, with the nametags "John" and "Lynn". _Well, maybe they can tell me where I can find this shirt._ "Um, yeah. My girlfriend wanted me to get her this shirt for her birthday, but I've been looking everywhere, and I can't find one."

He handed Minako's note to them.

They looked at the note, to Ranma, to the note again, and back to Ranma. John decided to ask the question. "Sir, you do know what this is, right?"

"Of course, I ain't stupid!" exclaimed Ranma. "I mean, it has to be a shirt. But why she wants a Trojan brand shirt in extra large, I don't get. I mean, why would she need a shirt that big for?"

Lynn looked at him with astonishment. At first, she had thought he was nothing but a pervert playing a joke on them. If he was, she was going to take him to her home, tie him up, and spank him until he asked his Mistress for forgiveness.

But now, she knew he was merely uneducated about what his girlfriend had asked him to purchase.

That made her want him all the more. "So you think these Trojans are shirts?"

"Well, I know they ain't sweats, because I know they wouldn't fit her. So, what else could they be if not clothes?"

The two clerks shook their heads; John wondering how this teenager's education in those things could be lacking this much, while Lynn was wondering how much effort she would need to get him to and secure him in her apartment.

"John, watch the store while I take our customer in the back and explain exactly what his girlfriend was wanting."

John knew he shouldn't, after all, Lynn had already scared off four regular customers, one was currently in the psych ward, talking about becoming a sock puppet.

But he'd be damned if he gave another man the sex talk.

An hour later, Ranma ran from the store, nearly knocking over John.

John went and checked the back, finding Lynn tied up, wearing a leather outfit, and growling about how the "wild horse would soon learn never to displease his new Mistress."

Ranma was already five blocks away, removing the last handcuff from his wrist. _That's it! Now I know all girls are perverts!_ After he removed the last handcuff and tossed them into the trash, he readjusted his outfit and headed back home. He needed to talk to Minako about what exactly was a good touch and what was a bad touch.

Of course, Ranma's day was far from over.

When he returned home and stored his clothes away, changed back, he went downstairs to find some food.

He was forever scarred by what he saw. _The horror! The HORROR!_

* * *

Pluto had just finished explaining to the Tendo sisters about the past, the Moon Kingdom, the Great Fall, the return of Beryl, why Apple Jacks didn't taste like apples, who put the bop in the bop-shi-bop, and that yes, the egg did come before the chicken.

The chicken never did forgive the egg for that.

"Finally, Akane, you cannot expose your new abilities, no matter how much you want to deliver your "righteous justice to perverts everywhere."

"But...but..."

Nabiki just finished her pocky, retrieving a sucker, and began to think. "Could you please explain how this Moon Kingdom was born and yet Earth was not a part of it?"

Kasumi placed her hand on Nabiki's shoulder. "Sister, it's not nice to point out plot holes."

Sighing, Nabiki relented. Well, then she couldn't ask why Queen Serenity didn't wait until the next generation, after the two kingdoms on Earth were united by the marriage of Beryl and Endymion. I mean, that would have made more sense than bringing in half the planet.

But once again, Kasumi would have scolded her for pointing out that plot hole.

Damn plot holes, no one ever explains them. And apparently, as a Time Senshi, she was forbidden from finding out why in person.

_Stupid time paradoxes. Sure, the fabric of the universe is safe, but the people are left with questions that drive them slowly towards insanity._

She decided to push a stack of papers to Pluto first. "If we are supposed to be helping you, I would like to negotiate our contracts."

Pluto blinked. She had just told these girls they needed to stop a force that would destroy their world and way of life, and she wanted to negotiate. She began to read the contract Nabiki had drawn up. Most of it was standard, and could be found on any well thought out contract for hiring a CEO. Medical, dental, health, they were included.

What shocked Pluto was that ten pages spelled out training requirements. "You want a lot of training."

"We don't need no stinkin' training!" said Akane. "I'm the best magic girl in all of Nerima."

Nabiki pulled out her mallet—made with an ivory handle with a mahogany wood head, and pounded her sister's hand. There were two reasons for this.

First, said hand had been trying to steal some of Nabiki's tootsie rolls.

No one takes Nabiki's sweets.

Second... "Little sister, we haven't even been magic girls for over an hour. So I can assure you, we are far from the best."

Pluto was still going over the contract. _Hmm, the new home is easy, the securing of this one is passable, have to forget about the butler and maid, qualified training instructors...better see if any of the old training rooms in the Moon Palace still work. Might have to get that set up in a new home. A college fund...makes sense. Stipends...well, they do need spending money. A part time job might not work to well when the forces of darkness don't work on a schedule._

Kasumi, meanwhile, was dreaming about being a magic girl. True, she would have to change the outfits. If they resembled the one Ms. Pluto was wearing, well...that was just so improper. She didn't want to flash everyone her panties.

But then again, the thoughts of being a magic girl made her feel...naughty. She might just have to visit Dr. Tofu again.

Poor guy, he never seemed the same after the last time she jumped his bones.

After a few hours of negotiating, it was agreed.

When Soun returned the next morning with Genma, they found that the girls had won a grant to go to private school in Juuban. After crying and drinking the sake that was left behind, they decided to think some more. If they told the girls no, then they could still avoid responsibility. But that would bring back the deranged cat that had beaten them senseless.

Decisions...decisions.

* * *

Minako had just returned home from school, hoping to spend some quality time with her Ranma, before training.

However, said individual was hiding under her bed. "Ranma, what happened?"

"Horror...my eyes...oh, Kami-sama...the horror."

Minako blinked. Whatever Ranma had seen must have really traumatized him. "Maybe I better go get mom?"

"NO!" screamed Ranma, knocking her down and holding her shirt, a surprising feat for a five kilogram cat. "Don't ever tell that woman!"

Minako was now freaked. "What did you see? Was it the Dark Syndicate? I thought we finished them off?"

"No. I...I...I-I-I-I saw your parents...having sex...on the kitchen table."

She blinked. How would that traumatize Ranma? They weren't his parents, so shouldn't he be okay? "And?"

"And...they were dressed up as Sailor V and Omega Knight."

She blinked again. "There had better be more to it than that." She was going to really thrash him if the idea of them being together like that had caused him to have this near break from reality.

"Um...your dad was dressed up as Sailor V."

Minako paled.

"And your mom...she kept telling him "You're my bitch, baby!" over and over again."

Soon, both were under the bed, shivering, trying to burn the images from their minds.

"Ranma, hold me!"

"Only if you hold me, too."

It is safe to assume the "Trojan incident" was soon forgotten, as well as that Minako would not be hinting about sex—her first time with Ranma, as she was still a virgin, despite what her friends thought from Ranma's comment, or thoughts of perverted readers who can't make the leap that yes, a naked girl will freeze the world's best martial artist like a deer in headlights, and allow said girl to get her kisses—for a long time, as well as the school councilor was about to get a new headache.

* * *

Setsuna put down the phone. According to the vet, Artemis would be just fine. Obviously, whatever poison Akane's "dinner" had injected him with was not life-threatening, and no stitches would be needed to close the wounds he had received.

Of course, she knew Artemis was going to milk this for all it was worth. Well, she guessed it would be okay for him to hit the catnip a little hard this week.

She turned towards the offending girl, currently sitting at the table, trying to look innocent. Nabiki and Kasumi had already left to purchase new cooking pots and pans, the old ones consumed by the dinner.

One day in their new home, and her youngest charge had created a youma in their kitchen.

Poor roaches never knew what hit them. Their small village was quickly consumed, as well as the Hello Kitty salt and pepper shakers.

Poor shakers...never had a chance.

If she didn't know better, she would have sworn that Akane had to be working for the enemy. How else could she have just created a youma?

Setsuna drank her tea, flavored with extra Prozac. It had taken five full powered Dead Screams to kill it. If they wanted to keep a low profile in Juuban and not attract the attention of the Negaverse, they had to kill the small uprisings. "Akane?"

"Um, yes?"

"If you ever, and I do mean ever, cook again, I will fire a Dead Scream up your ass, understood?" They were going to have enough problems with youmas soon, without one of their own making a youma-super-soldier out of teriyaki.

* * *

Ranma sat inside the pet carrier as the plane took off for Japan. He would miss Great Britain.

Well, he wouldn't miss that Lynn girl stalking him, trying to get him to admit to her mastery over him.

Or that Bill guy, who just wouldn't take no for an answer.

Or Felicia: Mrs. Appledorm's cat, who seemed intent on having kittens with him.

Come to think of it, maybe he was glad to be the hell away from England. If they kept those three there, he was fine.

Finally, he lay down and turned on the CD player, listening to some classical music. He would have done that sooner, but several dogs with him in the plane wouldn't stop barking.

He figured their owners should be grateful that all he did was knock them out the use the belts he could find to keep their mouths shut.

_Man, I just hope things are easier in Japan._

* * *

Khu Lon of the Chinese Amazons sat before a seer, who was trying to find her great-granddaughter a husband. Xian Pu was undefeated, and even fewer boys were willing to try and take her on.

Especially after she had used her bonbori to do things to a certain myopic Amazon male that even made Saffron cross his legs in sympathy pain.

"I have found one you might seek, Elder."

Khu Lon turned back to Kno Xema. "Describe them."

"They are cursed by Jusenkyo; they have fallen in the spring of Tsukimaonichuan."

Khu Lon nodded her head. It was the only spring in all of Jusenkyo that had a Japanese name in its title.

No one knew why. But the Guide said it was a story with a plot hole no one could answer or talk about, for fear of angering Jusenkyo. And Jusenkyo was always quick to seek vengeance if you talked about the plot holes it had.

The last Amazon male who had questioned those plot holes had "fallen" into the Spring of Drowned Elder, followed by a small shift in the land that combined that curse with Spring of Drowned Slutty Stripper.

Khu Lon bit back a cackle, as they had released that boy on the Musk. Seeing a 200+ year old woman doing a pole dance and asking if you wanted a massage thinned out that kingdom real fast.

"He is a very skilled warrior, fighting a darkness that seeks to plague the world of light."

"Can we perhaps have a name, please?" She really hated these mystic and cryptic speakers, not knowing this hate is why Kno Xema did this.

"His name is Ranma Saotome. Look for a white cat with blue eyes and a crescent moon marking on his forehead."

Khu Lon nodded and left. She had to fetch Xian Pu and see if perhaps this candidate was better than the last one.

After all, what damned boy would get lost in a cage?

Kno Xema lit her pipe, inhaling deeply. There was just no way in hell she was going to tell an Elder that the newest candidate was already claimed by so many, but mostly by a powerful blond. "Oh well, not my problem." She cackled when she was certain she was alone, wondering how long Khu Lon would be gone.

After all, the damn crystal ball had been broken for weeks. She had put in a request for a new one, but the council was under budget constrains.

Something about a group of Amazons perhaps making too many weekend trips to Hong Kong for...weekend getaways.

Best use what she learned from that Hibiki kid and give her favorite sister-in-law a new headache.

After all, her brother did ask her to watch over his wife.

Never said anything about making her suffer.

* * *

Omake or not by Shadowbakasama:

Ryouga had lost track of Ranma after Jusenkyo. The guide told him of Ranma's curse from Tsukimaonichuan, so his best bet for finding Ranma was to listen to the news for magical girls. The Jusenkyo Guide also told him of a couple products that could provide 'temporary' relief from his curse as an apology for trying to eat him. _Thank the Kami that he boils his food before butchering it._

Strangely enough the Guide ran a mail order business as well as an information website about Jusenkyo, so he set up Ryouga with some free samples of both the 'Waterproof Soap' and 'Instant Nannichuan' and gave him his card to order more when he ran out along with a few catalogs that he could give out to any other Jusenkyo victims he might meet up with.

Thinking of his new problems with water Ryouga decided to get an oil-cloth duster and cowboy hat the next time he was in the United States or Austrailia and found a store with them, it would work better than his umbrella in keeping him dry.

Now the Guide was taking him to the village of Joketsuzoku to get some more supplies before he tried to get back to Japan, or at least he was, but Ryouga seemed to have lost sight of him. _Damn it! Now I'm lost in China again!_ "Ranma! This is all your fault!"

Xian Pu and the giantess Tow Elle were both startled by the boy yelling a few feet below them, but Xian Pu recovers faster and gets in a shot with her bon-bori while her opponent was glaring at the rude boy who had interrupted the last match of the annual Amazon tournament. Tow Elle couldn't regain her balance and fell off the log in front of the Lost Boy.

Xian Pu was not very satisfied with her win, she knew that the judges wouldn't go for a rematch this late in the day, and the rules are pretty much 'anything goes', but she didn't need a distraction to win. This also somewhat spoiled her victory over her opponent, who was even now getting to her feet to go after the 'male' that had interrupted their fight.

Since Xian Pu felt slighted as well she jumped from the log to bracket in the offending male to help Tow Elle avenge this insult.

Ryouga was unprepared to have two girls (was this giant woman actually still a girl?) assault him with bon-bori and a tetsubo from in front and behind, so he was quickly beaten unconscious and hauled before the Elders.

"This MALE interrupted our match, Great Grandmother." Xian Pu says addressing a very old woman of incredibly short stature.

"Yes, we both claim a grievance with this Outsider for his interference in our match." Tow Elle adds.

"I agree, it was most rude of him to yell out like that from the base of the Challenge Log," Khu Lon states. "We shall have to ask him why he was there when he awakens. He seems to be remarkably tough from the amount of force you used to capture him. Put him in that empty tiger cage until he wakes up."

* * *

Ryouga woke up feeling battered and bruised with an incredible headache, after looking around and figuring out his situation he yells out. "Saotome Ranma! Because of you I've seen Hell!"

"Hmph! A rude Japanese boy, but why do you blame this Ranma for your problems?" asked a wrinkled little dwarf with grey hair and large bifocal glasses.

"It's his fault that I had to come to China!" Ryouga yells. "If only he had waited for our duel, I wouldn't be tracking him down to avenge my honor."

"So you came to our small village looking for this Saotome Ranma? Why don't you describe him to me, maybe we have seen him."

"Well he's 16 years old like me, about my height, but slimmer, and he has blue eyes and wears his black hair in a pigtail. The Guide also told me that he has fallen into Tsukimaonichuan and turns into a pure white Moon Cat, and his father Genma fell into Shonmaonichuan and becomes a giant panda."

"Well I don't think we've had any other Japanese visitors lately, and no one has mentioned seeing a panda or a white cat, most of the village cats are Siamese. But we haven't introduced ourselves. I'm Kno Xema, Elder Seer of the Joketsuzoku Amazons."

"Uh, I'm Hibiki Ryouga, pleased to meet you." Ryouga says bowing his head slightly then wincing in pain from his massive blunt trauma induced headache.

"And why did you yell out from the base of our Challenge Log during the finals of our annual tournament?"

"Oh, well, I was lost."

"You often just wander into towns and don't notice what's going on around you?"

"Y-yes, it's sort of a family curse. Hibiki's get lost easily."

"Hibiki, Hibiki. Oh yes, the great wandering clan. I don't think we've seen one of you through here in twenty years or so. Well, I'll try and explain this to the two Amazon warriors that you offended, but they seemed very upset with you, and you shouldn't expect to get out of this lightly." Kno Xema says as she turns to leave.

"Um, excuse me, but can I get some water before you leave?" Ryouga asks as he suddenly comes up with an escape plan.

"Mu Tsu, get the prisoner some water. And maybe a few aspirin if your carrying any."

* * *

Omake by Shinji the good sharer:

Kuno was happy with how he looked as he stepped out of the bathroom. The flowing garment was a bit short but it showed off the manly muscles in his legs as he ran.

Running from the mansion he set about running through the streets with his sister chasing after him. Women and men were both screaming out to him, which obviously must have been due to the manly air he produced as he ran past. Soon he found the dark monster that had come to Nerima.

"Hold fowl monster, I the all powerful magical girl Tatewaki Kuno shall defeat you and send you to..." He was cut off by the monster flailing on the ground screaming about it's eyes.

There were 2 problems with his speech and pose, first, he was up on the roof in a sailor fuku, but he had neglected to steal the panties from his sister that went with them, and second, he was still a he.


	5. Chapter 5

**Ranma ½**

**Chapter 5**

**Tsukimaonichuan:****Spring of Drowned Moon Cat**

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave.

If you like, please review, as well as let me know of any spelling errors. I will then re-upload this chapter when I do my next upload.

If you like, check out my other stories.

I also plan to start sending these out to have someone else proofread them before I post them. Volunteers are welcome.

Now, on with the show.

* * *

Once again...

Inner Senshi are age fourteen.

Akane is fourteen.

Nabiki is fifteen.

Kasumi is seventeen.

Setsuna would kill me for simply ever guessing her age.

Ranma and Ryoga are sixteen when this started, now eighteen.

* * *

The scouts were confused.

Well, the Inner scouts were confused, as well as the Outer Moon scouts. Sailor Moon was currently on the ground, withering in agony.

"Now your leader knows the fate of all those that challenge the Knights Who Say Ni!" said the head knight, as Sailor Moon appeared to once again receive a harsh blow.

Yes, the Dark Kingdom had done the unthinkable, releasing the Knights Who Say Ni onto the world once again.

Sailor Titania, also known as Akane Tendo, could only stare. "She does realize how stupid this is, right? I mean, that word isn't really a magic attack."

A man watching from the sides was about to point out how stupid this battle was, as well as how there was no possible reason for the Sailor Senshi to possibly believe their outfits offered any sort of protection, when an unknown knight rode up to him and stabbed him dead, before riding off.

"FRANK!"

As with Jusenkyo, the Kami do not like their plot holes being pointed out.

The other Senshi could only stare as well, Mercury was on her computer. "I don't understand why she is acting that way. There is no magic, no attacks... So why does she look like she's being hurt when they say Ni?"

Sailor Moon crumpled up as if she had just been hit in the chest.

"Don't say Ni, Mercury!" screamed Jupiter.

"I think Moon's lost her mind," said Charon, wondering why the Inners were so stupid. _Must be the fact they're fourteen._

"Oh, but Ni is such a weird word," said Triton.

"But there is no power in that word," said Mercury. "Maybe she only thinks she is being attacked when someone says Ni?"

"Ni-Ni-Ni-Ni-Ni-Ni-Ni-Ni," prattled Titania. "Let's just kill the bakas and be done with it."

"AH!" screamed the Knights Who Say Ni.

"What?" asked Mars. "What was it that made them act like that?"

"AH!" screamed the Knights Who Say Ni.

"Whatever it is, it appears to make them react the same way Moon does when they say Ni."

"AH!" screamed the Knights Who Say Ni and Sailor Moon.

"You will never get out Life Force!" screamed Sailor Jupiter.

"But we do not want your life force," said the head knight.

The Senshi blinked. "Well then, what the hell do you want!"

"We want...a shrubbery."

The Senshi just stared and blinked...except for Moon.

She was wearily reaching a hand up. "Medic!"

Titania turned to the others. "I say we kill them now."

Soon, the Knights Who Say Ni were no more, after the attacks of a violent Sailor Titania and Jupiter, while Mars berated Sailor Moon for being injured by words. "Baka Meatball Head, only you could get physically hurt by a word."

"WAH! Mars is so mean!"

Oddly, no one thought this was strange.

But considering what happened to the tourist, Frank, when he questioned it, they were happy to let it go on.

After all, you didn't need to see a foreign tourist named Frank get killed a fifth time to understand what could happen.

Strangely, two of those had been females.

Not that the author is questioning a possible plot hole. Nope.

* * *

The unknown knight sighed. He put away the forged ID that gave the author the name "Frank" and walked away.

* * *

Ranma padded around the woods on the outskirts of Minato Ward. Minako was getting registered to attend Junior High, followed by uniform shopping.

"Man, I just know she'll want to model those for me," he said, knowing he would suffer when he got back.

He stopped by a clearing, a huge cave before him. Looking closer, he saw a sign. "Welcome to the Cave of Caerbannog. Beware the vicious monster." He stared, wondering why the sign was in English, when he noticed movement.

A small white bunny hopped from the cave.

Now Ranma has only a few primary motivations.

Despite what Minako thinks, him having his way with her in naughty moments is not one of them.

But one is the need to feed.

So, one cute bunny plus one hungry moon cat/martial artist equals rabbit stew.

Unfortunately, the rabbit was thinking the same thing, but thinking of cat cutlets.

Thus, the two fierce combatants launched at each other.

* * *

Ranma was limping back home. The rabbit had been fierce, a worthy adversary, but no match for a Master of Anything Goes.

As Ranma got closer to his new home, he noticed several girls who wore outfits similar to Sailor V's being chased by a horrendous Black Beast.

Before he could go and try to find some hot water, the great beast fell over dead for no apparent reason and turned to dust.

Shaking his head, he returned to heading home or finding some hot water. It wasn't like he hadn't seen weirder, and after having a belly full of rabbit, he really needed to wash this blood off himself.

* * *

Minako lay on her bed, looking over at the mantel that held her latest purchase. "Who knew they had something as corny as a Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch at a school uniform store? Man, what junk can I buy next?"

Her words were cut off as Ranma walked into her room as human, flexing his arm, and appearing freshly washed. "Ranma, what happened?"

He just smiled. "Oh, I had to face a rabbit today. Damn bugger took a bite out of me. I just need to stay in this form for about another twenty minutes for it to heal."

She let out a breath that her boy toy/advisor/boyfriend/sensei/stud muffin was safe and still perfectly hunky.

But, her smile soon turned mischievous. "Well, then you can help me figure out whether or not to keep the clothes I just bought today."

Ranma paled, starting to wish that the rabbit had killed him.

* * *

Ami continued her story. "After I arrived, all I could find were some gnawed-on rabbit bones and what looked like the aftermath of a vicious battle." She looked away. "I wonder what that weird power was: youma...or something else."

Akane sighed. Her leader was currently sleeping, mumbling about her precious Mamo-chan, or Tuxedo Kamen, and adding several food items that the others would not dare to speculate on if they were to be used for eating, or naughty fun.

Akane hated that tux-clad pervert. All he ever did was throw the occasional rose, spout some crap about keeping hope, and disappear. He was nothing more than a cheerleader and a pervert.

Not like Omega Knight. Now he was a true man. He helped Sailor V all the time, fought beside her, and protected people. He got into the battle, fighting alongside his love. _Why can't I find a boy like that? He's so...dreamy!_

The all turned forward, except for their fearless leader who was currently drooling over her math book, as the teacher entered. "Call, we have a new student today."

"Hello, I am Minako Aino."

* * *

Ranma lay lazily on the tree branch outside the school; his charge/student/torturer/girlfriend was inside introducing herself to the class.

He was tired and just wanted to sleep. He had been up for hours in his human form; Minako trying on dozens of outfits, asking his opinion, which style best suited her, etc...

He felt like his soul had been sucked from his body, his mind reduced to jelly.

Of course, if she had really wanted his opinion, she would have done that without occasionally forgetting to button shirts all the way, wearing undergarments, etc...

Luckily, Lynn's outfits when she attempted to restrain him had built up his tolerance to sexily dressed females.

Unluckily, Minako wouldn't stop until he shot blood out his nose from her appearance.

_She's worse than Lynn ever was. Well, Lynn did occasionally wear less, but I really don't think the outfits were complete. Otherwise they would have hid her naughty parts._

Then Minako kept tossing and turning all night, making it damn near impossible for him to sleep, as she held onto him while doing it.

If not for the Bakusai Tenketsu training, he was certain she would have broken a few ribs.

"Artemis, what are you doing here?"

Ranma turned his head a little, seeing a black cat on the branch before him, a crescent moon on her forehead.

Now, despite what most people would have thought, Ranma did find education while in England. He realized either the cat before him was born a moon cat, or hit in Jusenkyo. "Name's Ranma, not Artemis. You born a moon cat, or did you fall into Jusenkyo?"

Luna blinked. This was another one like her? "I was born one, I think. You mean there are moon cats out their who weren't born as such?"

Ranma sighed, his chances for a nap dropping. "Yeah, I fell into a spring at a cursed valley in western China called Jusenkyo, Spring of Drowned Moon Cat. Hot water'll change me back to human."

Luna blinked. That reeked of chaos magic. Perhaps it had been an area where Beryl experimented before the Great Fall. "So then, what are you doing here?"

"I'm making certain my charge is okay." Ranma sat up. "Tell me, are all magic girls chosen by these Powers That Be always so damn hormonal. I swear, I can barely keep that girl clothed anymore. Every time we are alone in the house, she goes running for hot water to try and have me pound her bongos, toot her gong, and bust her apple...whatever that means."

Luna blinked. _Powers That Be? Busting her apple? Pound her bongos? Toot her gong? _ "Um, we are supposed to be guiding the reborn warriors of a dead kingdom to fight the evil the former Queen Serenity sealed away with her last bit of life."

"Oh," said Ranma, lazily. _Just must be my luck then I get the only one who's hot to trot._ "So, how many are you guiding?"

"I am guiding four, Artemis guides three."

Ranma blinked. There was another male...and he was teaching three? His mind instantly thought up an image of three Minako's demanding his attention, and shuddered. It was almost as bad as when he had caught Minako's dad and mom having sex.

_The horror..._

It still left its scars.

"And who is your charge, Ranma?" Luna was enjoying talking to a civilized moon cat. Plus, as cats went, he was easy on the eyes.

"One, and she is a handful. I taught her martial arts when we figured out that hot water changed me back, but after we eliminated the Dark Syndicate last year, she's been more focused on having her way with me." He lowered himself back onto the tree. "Sorry, but I need to catch some sleep. Can we talk after school?"

She nodded in agreement, promising to return after school, and heading over to wait for her charges to come out for lunch. She had a lot to tell them.

He was out cold to the world when she realized he hadn't told her **who** his charge was.

* * *

"I don't know, Luna," said Nabiki. "Are you certain we can trust him?"

Akane snapped her fingers. "That's where I remember that from." She turned to her sister. "Remember Uncle Saotome saying his son was lost at Jusenkyo. Maybe that's this Ranma."

The other girls looked at them. "You mean you've heard of Jusenkyo?"

Nabiki nodded. "I researched it as soon as the fat lard moved into our old home. It is this cursed training grounds with hundreds of pools. If you fall into one, you get a cursed form based on whatever drowned in that pool last. We always assumed Ranma fell into Maonichuan: Spring of Drowned Cat. Uncle didn't tell us until later that Ranma had a mark on his head, but we always assumed it was a birthmark."

Their thoughts were stopped as the new student came outside and walked over to the tree Luna had pointed to with Ranma in it. The new girl then astounded them by jumping into the tree, which was followed by a scared looking white moon cat dropping out of it and taking off.

"Get back here, Ranma!" screamed Minako. "I know you've got my lunch!"

The group watched as Minako proceeded to chase the cat around, as both performed martial arts feats that astounded the onlookers, before Minako tackled the cat. As they wondered what she would do next, she slapped her forehead. "Idiot, I still have it." She reached up her sleeve, pulling out a large bag of food, before beginning to devour it, setting a large portion off to the side that was soon finished by her cat.

Everyone had a sweatdrop at this except for Usagi, who was currently wondering how to bum...I mean, ask for some food from her soon-to-be new friend.

Makoto was wondering if perhaps it was her old sempai who had been cursed. Even as a cat, he was obviously a great martial artist.

Ami was looking at her computer, wondering how the two had done that.

Luna was drooling over nailing the active moon cat. Yes, in her opinion, he was already a much better catch than what's-his-name. "Well, I guess we know who his charge is."

Akane wanted him to teach her. If he had made that girl so good, she wondered if perhaps she had gotten a defective moon cat.

Come to think of it, maybe Luna was defective as well. She just said what they needed to do, with no prep time.

Nabiki wanted to figure out what was going on. If that Ranma was really Uncle Saotome's son, then he was engaged to one of them.

Ranma just shuddered after finishing his meal. Somehow, he knew he was in trouble, he just didn't know how?

His thoughts were interrupted by the impact of a coconut. He just couldn't tell at this distance if the swallow that had been carrying it was European or African.

* * *

Omake #1 by Innortal:

NARRATOR: The Tale of Sir Tuxedo Kamen  
(boom crash)  
(angels singing)  
(pound pound pound)  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Open the door! Open the door!  
(pound pound pound)  
In the name of King Arthur, open the door!  
(squeak thump)  
(squeak boom)  
ALL: Hello!  
BERYL: Welcome gentle Sir knight, welcome to the Castle Anthrax.  
TUXEDO KAMEN: The Castle Anthrax?  
BERYL: Yes... oh, it's not a very good name is it? Oh! but we are  
nice and we shall attend to your every, every need!  
TUXEDO KAMEN: You are the keepers of the Holy Ginzuishou?  
BERYL: The what?  
TUXEDO KAMEN: The Ginzuishou -- it is here?  
BERYL: Oh, but you are tired, and you must rest awhile. Unazuki!  
Naru!  
UNAZUKI and NARU: Yes, oh Beryl!  
BERYL: Prepare a bed for our guest.  
UNAZUKI and NARU: Oh thank you thank you thank you--  
BERYL: Away away varlatesses! The beds here are warm and soft  
- -- and very, very big.  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Well, look, I-I-uh--  
BERYL: What is your name, handsome knight?  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Sir Tuxedo Kamen... the Chaste.  
BERYL: Mine is Beryl... just Beryl. Oh, but come!  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Look, please! In Serenity's name, show me the Ginzuishou!  
BERYL: Oh, you have suffered much! You are delirious!  
TUXEDO KAMEN: L-look, I have seen it! It is here, in the--  
BERYL: Sir Tuxedo Kamen! You would not be so ungallant as to refuse  
our hospitality.  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Well, I-I-uh--  
BERYL: Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet  
compared to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and  
brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen and a half, cut off in  
this castle with no one to protect us! Oh, it is a lonely life --  
bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear... We  
are just not used to handsome knights. Nay, nay, come, come, you  
may lie here. Oh, but you are wounded!  
TUXEDO KAMEN: No, no -- i-it's nothing!  
BERYL: Oh, but you must see the doctors immediately! No, no,  
please, lie down.  
(clap clap)  
CHISATO MIZUNO: Ah. What seems to be the trouble?  
TUXEDO KAMEN: They're doctors!  
BERYL: Uh, they've had a basic medical training, yes.  
TUXEDO KAMEN: B-but--  
BERYL: Oh, come come, you must try to rest! Doctor Chisato Mizuno,  
Doctor Washu, practice your art.  
CHISATO MIZUNO: Try to relax.  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Are you sure that's necessary?  
CHISATO MIZUNO: We must examine you.  
TUXEDO KAMEN: There's nothing wrong with that!  
CHISATO MIZUNO: Please -- we are doctors.  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Get off the bed! I am sworn to chastity!  
CHISATO MIZUNO: Back to your bed!  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Torment me no longer! I have seen the Ginzuishou!  
CHISATO MIZUNO: There's no Ginzuishou here.  
TUXEDO KAMEN: I have seen it, I have seen it. I have seen--  
GIRLS: Hello.  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Oh--  
VARIOUS GIRLS: Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.  
Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.  
Hello.  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Beryl!  
RANKO: No, I am Beryl's identical twin sister, Ranko.  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Oh, well, excuse me, I--  
RANKO: Where are you going?  
TUXEDO KAMEN: I seek the Ginzuishou! I have seen it, here in this castle!  
RANKO: No! Oh, no! Bad, bad Beryl!  
TUXEDO KAMEN: What is it?  
RANKO: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Beryl! She has been setting  
alight to our beacon, which, I just remembered, is Ginzuishou-shaped.  
It's not the first time we've had this problem.  
TUXEDO KAMEN: It's not the real Ginzuishou?  
RANKO: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Beryl! Oh, she is a naughty  
person, and she must pay the penalty -- and here in Castle  
Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the  
Ginzuishou-shaped beacon. You must tie her down on a bed and spank her!  
GIRLS: A spanking! A spanking!  
RANKO: You must spank her well. And after you have spanked her,  
you may deal with her as you like. And then, spank me.  
VARIOUS GIRLS: And spank me. And me. And me.  
RANKO: Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!  
GIRLS: A spanking! A spanking!  
RANKO: And after the spanking, the Lewinskis.  
GIRLS: Lewinskis! Lewinskis!  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Well, I could stay a BIT longer.  
SAILOR URANUS: Sir Tuxedo Kamen!  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Oh, hello.  
SAILOR URANUS: Quick!  
TUXEDO KAMEN: What?  
SAILOR URANUS: Quick!  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Why?  
SAILOR URANUS: You're in great peril!  
TUXEDO KAMEN:  
BERYL:  
SAILOR URANUS: Silence, foul temptress!  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Now look, it's not important.  
SAILOR URANUS: Quick! Come on and we'll cover your escape!  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Look, I'm fine!  
SAILOR URANUS: Come on!  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Now look, I can tackle this lot single-handed!  
RANKO: Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed!  
GIRLS: Yes! Tackle us single-handed!  
SAILOR URANUS: No, Sir Tuxedo Kamen, come on!  
TUXEDO KAMEN: No, really, honestly, I can go back and handle this lot  
easily!  
RANKO: Oh, yes, let him handle us easily.  
GIRLS: Yes, yes!  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Wait! I can defeat them! There's only a hundred and  
fifty of them!  
RANKO: Yes, yes, he'll beat us easily, we haven't a chance.  
GIRLS: Yes, yes.  
(boom)  
RANKO: Oh, shit.  
(outside)  
SAILOR URANUS: We were in the nick of time, you were in great peril.  
TUXEDO KAMEN: I don't think I was.  
SAILOR URANUS: Yes you were, you were in terrible peril.  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.  
SAILOR URANUS: No, it's too perilous.  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Look, no one can face as much peril as I can.  
SAILOR URANUS: No, we've got to find the Holy Ginzuishou. Come on!  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Well, let me have just a little bit of peril?  
SAILOR URANUS: No, it's unhealthy.  
TUXEDO KAMEN: Bet you're straight!  
SAILOR URANUS: No, I'm not.

* * *

Omake #2 by Innortal

The Senshi had prepared for the meeting. Their newest ally: Sailor Venus, was attending.

Even Usagi was on time...

...and awake...

...and full!

When they opened the door to the shrine...they were not prepared for what they saw.

_Earlier..._

Ranma saw a tasty looking mouse.

Luna--who had been losing her high priced cat food to an extra hungry Usagi--saw the fat, plump, rodent.

Both leapt for it, and with Ranma's luck, collided into each other head first. Luna hit the ground hard, knocking the wind out of her and disorientating her.

Ranma landed on top of her back, suffering the same effects.

And that is when the Senshi entered.

Ranma blinked, looking down at how he was situated on Luna, and back up to the red glowing Senshi of Love. "Um...would you believe this isn't what it looks like?"

Rei held her forehead. "Who knew Luna would give it up on the first date?"

Usagi looked with a frozen stare at her uptight moon advisor apparently getting some kitty love.

Minako took a deep breath, reached behind her, and pulled out the Venus You-Done-Fucked-Up-Lovin'-Me Mallet. "RANMA NO BAKA!"

Yes, even as a cat, Ranma still can't help getting screwed over by Fate.

* * *

Omake by Lord Raa:

Ryoga was not happy.

In fact, Ryoga was angry and it was all the fault of that arrogant bastard, Ranma Saotome.

If he hadn't skipped out on their duel, he wouldn't have had to follow him. And then he wouldn't have ended up getting that weird curse in China.

At least he stayed human when he was splashed with cold water. After speaking with the Jusenkyo Guide, Ryoga shuddered at the thought of turning into an animal that was likely to be eaten, like a piglet.

It was just that his cursed form was so annoying.

"Damn that foul, cowardly cretin known as Ranma Saotome!" Ryoga cursed.

One of the changes was the flowery speech that the lost boy was now compelled to use instead of his normal patterns.

But the real kick in the pants was the fact that his clothes changed from the rugged all weather outfit that he liked to formal eveningwear fit for a masquerade ball, complete with cane and roses.


	6. Chapter 6

**Ranma ½**

**Chapter 6**

**Tsukimaonichuan:****Spring of Drowned Moon Cat**

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave.

If you like, please review, as well as let me know of any spelling errors. I will then re-upload this chapter when I do my next upload.

If you like, check out my other stories.

I also plan to start sending these out to have someone else proofread them before I post them. Volunteers are welcome.

Now, on with the show.

* * *

The Senshi were currently battling the newest creations of the Negaverse: The Lollipop Guild of Youmas; current membership: forty-eight Oompa Loompa Youmas.

"You know, these guys might actually be some trouble," commented Sailor Titania, known as Akane Tendo. "These guys fight as a group, back the other up, and at least know how to fight."

"I agree," said Sailor Charon, known as Nabiki Tendo. "They might actually last for more than a half hour."

"Oh, they are such fun to play with," said Sailor Triton, also known as Kasumi Tendo, as she impaled an Oompa Loompa Youma on her trident.

Meanwhile, the Inners were fighting for their lives while the Outer Moon Senshi were enjoying their battle. Presently, they were doing their "keep blasting till their dead" maneuver.

As such, only fourteen Youmas were killed, and Sailor Moon had a -5 score as she occasionally blasted her teammates more than the Youma.

"OW! DAMN IT, MEATBALL HEAD! I AIN'T THE ENEMY!"

Correction, the score for Sailor Moon was -6.

And such the battle continued. The Outer Moon Senshi were quickly taking care of the Oompa Loompa Youma that would attack them, Sailor Jupiter was in a close second, followed by Sailor Mars, then Sailor Mercury—though no one was quite certain how she had slain three Youma, and finally Sailor Moon at—

"OUCH!"

...-7.

"VENUS CRESCENT BEAM CANNON!"

A beam of pure yellow light streaked down the street, vaporizing the Youma in its path, while leaving the Senshi untouched.

Before the other Oompa Loompa Youma could regroup, a grey blur ran through them, before appearing on the other side of the street next to the Senshi.

Sailor Titania could only stare in awe as her dream hunk; Omega Knight, appeared before her, slowly sliding his sword into his sheath. When it finally clicked, the remaining Youma quickly turned to dust.

He turned bowing to the Senshi. "We are sorry we took so long, but my companion needed to wait until you were safely to the sides of the street before using her cannon attack."

Question were cut off as a new Senshi appeared beside him, surprising even the martial artists of the group at the speed she had appeared, none being able to follow her. "Hello. I am Sailor Venus, formerly Sailor V, and this is my boyfriend, Omega Knight."

Sailor Titania's world cracked. _He...he's already taken!_

Sailor Moon bowed. "Thanks for saving us!"

Sailor Mars rubbed her bruised rear from where Sailor Moon's Tiara attack had impacted after the Oompa Loompa Youma dodged it. "Both from the enemy and our leader."

"WAH! I WAS TRYING MY BEST!"

The rest of the group sweatdropped.

Sailor Charon stepped forward. "Well, if our great ranks of leaders are done crying, we were wondering if you would like to join us. We would love to hear why you came here to Japan, as well as any possible training you could offer."

Sailor Titania's world grew back. _Yes, training! We can train closely, as I develop his interest in me by growing faster than Sailor Blondie. And while we are practicing closely, our bodies covered with sweat..._

Now, she more resembled Usagi at seeing an open All-You-Can-Eat Buffet.

Much like Sailor Moon was doing now to the poster on the utility pole in front of her, advertising said Buffet.

Omega Knight appeared to be considering it, while Sailor Venus snuggled up to his arm, much to the distaste of the currently single Senshi.

This included Sailor Triton, who was still most upset that Dr. Tofu was hiding from her. She was in the mood lately, and decided he would need to be...punished...for avoiding her.

Said doctor was in his supply closet, hugging his skeleton, jabbering about insane martial arts daughters and their ability to not know when no means no.

He nodded. "Agreed. It would be best if we worked together and finally finish off this infestation upon our world. Where should we meet?"

The Senshi huddled. They had only three options.

Option #1 was to meet at the top of the Junior High School, in case this was a trap. No one voted for this, as Sailor Mercury confirmed that Sailor Venus was a real Senshi and oddly that Omega Knight had very little magic to him.

This of course raised the happiness of Sailor Titania, as it proved that the famed Tuxedo Baka was really a wuss, as Omega Knight had far less magic than him and was kicking easily ten times more ass.

Option #2 was to meet at the Cherry Hill Shrine. But Rei's grandfather was currently waiting for the newest issue of Victoria's Secret as well as other...questionable...materials, so he was going to be hanging around too much.

Rei never did get the image out of her head of her grandfather receiving underground Hentai Manga of the Sailor Senshi.

Option #3 was the Dojo at the home of the Outer Moon Senshi, which Makoto knew very well, as they had started to train her as well. Since Sailor Pluto occasionally made appearances there, it was decided that would be the meeting place.

Thus, directions were given, and the two groups parted.

* * *

At the home of the Outer Moon Senshi, Kasumi began to bake up a feast of treats, as Nabiki straightened the house and Akane prepared the dojo for guests. Even though they had only lived there for a little over a month, they still took great pride in their home.

Akane was hoping that Omega Knight was one Ranma Saotome. If he was, then the engagement between families would ensure she got her dream hunk.

Nabiki was considering that possibility as well, but wondering both what would the engagement do to the possible new team dynamics. She also had to consider that from what Setsuna had told them, they would all be living for a long time, and he was possibly one of two available males to...pass...that time with, unless Artemis was really an Adonis in his human form, if the blasted drunk ever remembered how to do it.

Kasumi was preparing the snacks, while dreaming of pouring hot chocolate and honey on the bound bodies of one MIA doctor and one masked male hero from Great Britain.

* * *

Mamoru Chiba was posing in front of his bathroom mirror. "Damn, I'm manly!"

He missed the fact that the birds watching him were laughing their asses off.

He had been day dreaming about who his Princess might be. He knew he was to protect her, and perhaps one day marry her, so he was trying to figure out which Senshi she was.

About the only thing he was certain about was that it couldn't be Sailor Moon. In his opinion, she was clumsy, whiney, ditzy... Basically, she was a 'Get Smart' version of a magic girl.

Oh well, he had the time, and the other Senshi would provide a welcome filling in his dating calendar.

Except, once again, for Sailor Moon. She...she ate way too much for a normal human.

* * *

Ami sat before her mother while they had lunch at the hospital. "Mom, do you know anyone named Genma or Ranma Saotome?"

Dr. Mizuno paused in eating her salad. "Why would you like to know, dear?"

Ami didn't miss that. It was common knowledge that if a parent answered a question with a question, they knew a hell of a lot more than they wanted to tell you. "I met him today. Seemed like a nice boy."

Dr. Mizuno put done her fork and looked at her daughter. "He was here over a decade ago; he was brought in with multiple injuries. You see, his worthless father tried to teach him some banned martial arts technique. The fat bastard didn't even arrive till a few days later, trying to steal back his son. Instead, he left a note for payment promising his son would marry my daughter in place of payment for his son's treatment."

She resumed eating her salad. "If that boy still has a kind heart, I'd be amazed. If so, then go for it. Just keep his father away from your children."

Ami nodded and returned to her meal, internally rejoicing and doing the Snoopy dance. By honor, she was possibly engaged to Omega Knight.

And people said a quiet wallflower like her would never get a good guy.

* * *

"I promise on my heart, dear," said the exasperated Ikuko Tsukino, tired of her daughter not wanting to either believe her or take her word as truth, "when I was younger, my friend; Nodoka Saotome, and I promised to unite or families through marriage. We even signed a paper to that effect. And yes, she did have a son named Ranma, though he would be about eighteen by now. He left twelve years ago on a training trip. She found her husband and kicked him out of the clan for losing him. But if this is really No-chan's Ranma; then let me know. His mother has so wanted to see her son."

"YES! VICTORY IS MINE!" Usagi ran towards her room, planning on choosing an outfit to meet her fiancé in, when she tripped on a dust bunny. "BLAST! VENGEANCE WILL BE MINE, FOUL DUST BUNNY!"

* * *

"So," said the glowing Rei, "you promised me to the son of this guy after he agreed to do so, so you would teach him how to fight demons?"

"Um..." Hino was a little worried. His granddaughter had a smile at the mention that she had been engaged to one Ranma Saotome. But the fact her aura was out and even the Sacred Flame appeared to be slowly sliding away from the two suggested he may be in some trouble. "Yes, I even had a paper signed to that effect."

Rei maintained her "she-bitch from Hell" appearance, trying to keep her aura to appear as pissed, while inside, she was dancing in a field of lilacs. She had scored a possible perfect man, and didn't have to worry about the forty-something deadbeats that were the only source of flirting she had as she worked at the Shrine, or at a private school.

* * *

"Yes, Ms. Kino," said Keitaro Tanaku for the fifth time. As the lawyer for the Kino family, he took care of many of Makoto's needs like she was his own daughter.

That included any filed papers by either parent towards engagements. He didn't like them, and he had no desire to force any on Makoto. After all, he could easily claim that the paperwork was lost, or that the parents had not made him aware of it, and as such, he could easily have it annulled without any loss of honor.

But Makoto was currently hopping up and down at the fact that she was engaged by written agreement to the son of Nodoka Saotome, then daughter of the clan head of Clan Saotome.

Plus, if he was Omega Knight, he was taller than her, a great martial artist, and would be a perfect companion for her.

Yes, by honor, she would...sadly...have to marry him.

Hopefully, her new teammate would understand. Honor was so important to her.

* * *

Minako stopped as Ranma shivered again in her hands.

They had left the café a few minutes earlier when a old lady washing her sidewalk had turned Ranma back into a moon cat, and she was beginning to worry that her advisor/sensei/partner/future-father-of-her-many-children was getting sick.

Ranma, however, was feeling new levels of fear, far surpassing anything Lynn had even been able to do when she rarely caught him. Someone was making devious plans for him. He was positive.

"Um...Minako?"

She stopped. Ranma would never talk in public unless it was both important and no one would hear or observe them. "Yes?"

"I sense great danger coming for us."

* * *

The Senshi had all gathered at the dojo an hour before Sailor Venus and Omega Knight were to arrive. They had decided it would be prudent to discuss some things first like—

"WHAT?"

Well, like the fact that each one was engaged by honor to Ranma Saotome, the possible identity of Omega Knight. They had all guessed that Ranma was both this new moon cat they had seen at lunch, as well as Omega Knight.

The Tendo sisters were stunned. Genma had often preached about honor, despite how little he actually showed. This just proved that moving out had been the best idea.

Ami was upset. She finally had a decent shot at a viable intelligent hunk...and it was being threatened by her teammates.

She would need to...plan.

Usagi began mentally cursing that dust bunny who had tripped her. Not doubt it was part of its diabolical plan to prevent her from being happy. She mumbled more to herself as she ate her prepared snack, which strangely looked like the new expensive cat food that her mom had just bought for Luna.

But the tastes...

Rei knew she would be spending hours in front of the Sacred Fire to get it to tell her exactly how to acquire her wayward fiancé, and show him that she was the perfect girl for him. Maybe he could help her get good enough to avoid Usagi's attacks.

Makoto knew she was in trouble. True, she was just as good a cook as Kasumi, slightly below the fighting abilities of the Tendo sisters, but she was well rounded.

She decided if worse came to worse, she would play the "orphaned little girl" card to win him.

Luna was very pissed. If the hunky moon cat turned into a human, it didn't matter to her. It just meant he could acquire the stuff she wanted; like a diamond collar, food that Usagi wouldn't steal from her, catnip... But she'd been without for over 10,000 years, and she'd be damned she'd let this hunk get away.

Damn it, cats need nookie too!

"So, what do we do now?" asked Akane. She had been hoping that just this once, Genma's stupidity wasn't that deep.

Worse, if he was apparently engaged to Senshi, then how many more girls would pop up? How many of them would be Senshi?

Across Japan and parts of East Asia, one hundred and forty-seven girls sneezed. This included the self defined "Youma Magnet", Naru.

Ami spent a long time considering this. With this many girls vying for the male gift to the Senshi, they needed to first get him away from Sailor Venus. A smile that looked more at home on Beryl's face appeared on hers. "Well, first I say we decide if we believe Sailor Venus is the Princess."

"Huh?" She had just lost all of the other girls.

Well, except Usagi. Rei had thrown a cookie past her nose when Usagi had been creeping closer and closer to Rei's manga, and the Senshi of the Moon was currently huddled in a corner, devouring the cookie like a nervous rat.

Ami went into Teacher Mode. "Simply. If she is the Princess we have been searching for, then she is engaged to Tuxedo Kamen, and thus...cannot be in a relationship with Omega Knight."

"But I thought I was the Princess?" asked Usagi, now back at the table and on the hunt for more cookies without protection.

Unless, of course, those cookies were made by Akane.

Damn, those things bit back, and even Usagi's stomach barely held them back.

"Listen, Meatball-head, do you want to marry Tuxedo Baka, because we can arrange that."

Usagi blinked, about ready to start crying for being insulted, when a miracle happened: blood flow to her brain reached epic proportions. She was beginning to have a train of thought.

_If I am the Princess, then I have to marry Tuxedo Mask._

_If I marry him, I can't marry Ranma._

_Maybe I could marry both?_

_I must have them both!_

_Nah, Luna would never stop griping at me._

_Hmm, so then I must say that I am not the Princess._

_If I am not the Princess, then I can have Ranma._

_If I have Ranma, he can buy me ice cream every day._

_Mmm, Ice Cream!_

_Ice cream with sprinkles..._

_Ice cream with hot fudge on the chest of Omega Knight..._

Meanwhile the other Senshi were scared. Usagi had been still for three minutes.

After checking to ensure she wasn't dead, as well as confirm that yes, she appeared to have a little turning hourglass in her eyes to indicate that she was processing, they decided to move on.

"So," began Rei, "we simply have to confirm that Sailor Venus is the Princess we've been looking for, dump the Baka on her, and then we have a free-for-all for our fiancé?"

The girls looked at each other. "Well...it could work."

"Or," postulated Nabiki, "if he will be alive as long as us, who's to say we can't share. I mean, what are our options here, people? We have a drunken moon cat—"

"You stole my lesbians!" screamed Artemis from the other room, right before a mini-mallet from Akane conked him in the head, returning him to drunken slumber.

"As I was saying, we have a drunken moon cat, Tuxedo Cheerleader, and Omega Knight. It is sad to say, but at least we have a Grade A slice of beef for the next 10,000 or so years."

The others nodded, momentarily agreeing to a truce until Omega Knight/Ranma Saotome/Hubba-hubba was free from the true Princess.

Of course, after that, it was every lonely female for herself.

* * *

As Minako made her way down the street to the home of the Tendo sisters, she had Ranma in her arms. Currently, the moon cat/cursed man/God of Women was sleeping, as he had been having severe bouts of paranoia that day.

As she walked, Minako manipulated a bit of ki and chi to alter the placement of things inside Ranma's subspace pocket. She was intent on staking her claim that indeed, Ranma was hers.

Of course, should he change and be unable to locate his clothes to dress quickly...well, sometime you had to show off your man.

* * *

Omake by Lord Raa:

Ami sat before her mother while they had lunch at the hospital. "Mom, do you know anyone named Genma or Ranma Saotome?"

Dr. Mizuno put done her fork and looked at her daughter. "He was here over a decade ago; he was brought in with multiple injuries. You see, his worthless father tried to teach him some banned martial arts technique. The fat bastard didn't even arrive till a few days later, trying to steal back his son. Instead, he left a note for payment promising his son would marry my daughter in place of payment for his son's treatment."

She resumed eating her salad. "If that boy still has a kind heart, I'd be amazed. If so, then go for it. Just keep his father away from your children."

"SCORE!" Ami cheered. "All I need to do is pit the others against each other to tire themselves out and the meek shall inherit the studly!"

* * *

Omake by DhampyrX2:

_...continuing after Lord Raa's..._

That was all Ami managed to say before she let out a muted squeak and fell unconscious from a pressure point strike to the neck.

"Nice idea, Ami-chan. But age and experience will always beat out youth and enthusiasm. No matter how smart that youth is," Mrs. Mizuno remarked as her form shimmered to reveal Setsuna in her place.

From there it was a quick Amazon memory shampoo-ing to remove the Sailor Mercury's clever little idea from her head before her elder's work was truly done.

Just before the Senshi of Time faded from the room, she smirked and added, "It doesn't hurt to have a killer body, an ancient artifact that lets me know him inside and out, and a house full of lesbians to protect him and lull him into a false sense of security, either."

And somewhere under Minako's bed, a certain moon cat shivered.


	7. Chapter 7

**Ranma ½**

**Chapter 7**

**Tsukimaonichuan:****Spring of Drowned Moon Cat**

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave.

If you like, please review, as well as let me know of any spelling errors. I will then re-upload this chapter when I do my next upload.

If you like, check out my other stories.

I also plan to start sending these out to have someone else proofread them before I post them. Volunteers are welcome.

Now, on with the show.

* * *

Artemis was currently in hell.

Well, not the hell that spawns the life force that is embodied in Akane's cooking.

Or the hell that he has been in living with the Outer Moon Senshi in the Juuban Tendo Dojo. After all, Akane was making some headway in what ways to **not** pet a cat.

No, he was in the hell that was the past. He was reliving the time he had been stuck in a room with Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune.

Neptune was twirling her hair. "Like, oh my god, did you, like, see that hottie?"

Uranus was sipping on her drink. "Like, totally. He was a major babe. Nothing like Keitaro, though."

"I know! Keitaro is, like, so last week."

Artemis was wondering if he could find some rope to hang himself from that chandelier in the middle of the room, and end his suffering at the hands of the Valley Girl Senshi.

"Oh, you know Fred, right?" asked Uranus.

"Like, yeah! He's a major hottie!"

"Well, I like, so totally did him last night in the throne room."

"NO WAY!"

"Like, way!"

"Like, no way!"

"Heh, like totally!"

Artemis wanted to die. They would stay here, torturing him forever.

"WAKE UP, YOU DRUNK DUMBASS!"

* * *

Artemis found himself being shaken hard by Sailor Titania, known as Akane. To his credit, he lasted several seconds longer than he should have.

"EWW! KITTY BARF!"

Which just goes to show you: never shake a drunken cat vigorously if he is facing you.

As Akane ran off to change, Luna filled Artemis in on what was occurring. "So, we need to either confirm or deny that Sailor Venus is actually the Princess."

Usagi nodded. "Yes, confirm..."

Makoto stood beside her, nodding sagely as well. "Yes, we must confirm..."

Artemis stared at the girls, wondering what was going on.

For the last few months, Setsuna had denied his requests to be teleported to the Outers so he could begin training them. He had informed her that he couldn't live with himself if they were harmed because he failed to reach them.

In hindsight, perhaps when she had asked about what about the Outer Moon Senshi, maybe saying "fuck them, let them get killed, where are my lesbians" was a bad move on his part. He'd admit that.

Now, he was confused, hung over, and in the need of a breath mint. "Okay, so where is this possible Princess?"

Luna nodded, snapping her mind away from thoughts of what she planned to do to a certain blue-eyed moon cat when she entered heat in a few days. "Well, we believe she must be the Princess. She has demonstrated great fighting prowess, as well as strength to defeat large scores of the enemy on her own."

Artemis stared at her. "We still need to see her first."

Ami was nodding sagely as well. "And then we confirm she is the Princess."

Artemis stared at the girls, each one present nodding in agreement. _Perhaps it is best if I do not ask questions._

Before he could try and avoid further thoughts about what might piss these girls off next, both a certain upset and now barf-free Senshi reentered the room, followed by a knock at the door.

As Akane gave the moon cat a death glare, promising pain for puking on her outfit, she opened the door, revealing the blond girl from school, and a strange moon cat the bared a striking resemblance to Artemis. "Weird, he looks so much like Artemis?"

The moon cat blinked. "Woah, I have a twin."

Minako immediately shifted into images involving two Ranmas and whipped cream.

Shaking her head, Akane motioned for them to enter, which they did after Ranma sunk his claws into Minako's arms to wake her up.

As she gave him a look that promised pain—well, pain he would receive most likely from an over-affectionate Minako—they moved to the table in the room. As Minako took her seat, she sat Ranma on the table, and the group was treated to a closer inspection of the blue-eyed moon cat whose appearance seemed to mirror Artemis.

Well, a sober Artemis...after he had been working out for a few decades...and smelled like peaches instead of sake.

"Wow" exclaimed Minako. "It's like looking into a door."

Ranma sighed. "Looking into a mirror, Mina-chan."

"That too."

Luna looked between the two. Yes, Ranma; in her opinion, was a much better life mate than what's-his-name.

Akane just saw confirmation that yes; she had received a defective moon cat.

Ranma just stared at his twin. "Um, you know any moon cats that drowned in western China about 10,000 years ago?"

Artemis tried to think through his hangover, headache from Akane's mini-mallet strike, and his frozen memories from being in an unsecured cryo-pod under a certain Time Guardian's bed instead of being in a secure facility. "Um...I think my brother, Gabrius. Well, he was a major idiot, and swore he could find Sailor Sol on Earth."

Ami looked confused. "Why did he think that?"

Artemis gave her a bored expression. "We never figured out why he thought there was a Sailor Sol. He was...special."

Ranma blinked, not getting the reference. "How was he special?"

Usagi also didn't get the reference. She was too busy tracking down the elusive Chocolate Chip Cookie. _Ain't she a beaut! _

Luna had left the TV on yesterday, and Usagi had been stuck watching the Croc Hunter. She would have changed the channel, but the TV was so far away, and she couldn't find the remote.

The others looked at him. Minako decided to answer. "He was a few crackers short of a sandwich."

The other girls could only stare at her. _She's worse than Usagi!_

Usagi merely looked at her empty hands. _Cookies! Must...have...more! Wait, did someone say there were crackers and sandwiches?_

Ranma looked around, finally getting what Minako was trying to say, and decided that perhaps the blond with the weird meatballs in her head was a few crackers shy as well. "O...kay. So, you guys wanted to discuss teaming up and training?"

Makoto nodded. "Yeah, we'd like it if you could train us like you did Minako." She pulled a kettle from nowhere. "Also, could we see the real you?"

The other girls nodded as well, cameras hidden below the table.

Sighing, Ranma agreed, hopping off the table as Minako took the kettle. For some reason, her senses were tingling, much like they did when that Bill guy would show up at her doorstep looking for Ranma in his human form. After checking the water to ensure it didn't scold him—as a burnt Ranma was not a good thing to have around, as he was less...attentive—she poured it over him.

As Ranma changed, he noted two important facts.

One, the girls and female moon cat suddenly developed slight nose bleeds, including the special blond.

The second was that it seemed a little bit drafty.

He decided to look down, wondering if something was wrong to explain where the sudden cold draft had come from.

_Yep, naked._

He was soon assaulted by multiple flashes of light.

This had a two pronged effect. This caused instincts to take over and Ranma immediately fell into a defensive stance.

The second was that it gave the girls with cameras a perfect opportunity to get an action shot or a few dozen.

As he closed his eyes and turned around, given said girls the opportunity for some rump roast shots, he mentally began searching through his subspace pocket, locating his clothes, and using the Instant Dressing Technique—developed for when hormone crazy blond girls love to tackle you naked—to eliminate the stares.

Finally he turned around, expecting to deal with whichever girl or girls had used cameras...

...only to find that no one was apparently looking at him. They were passing around tea.

He turned to ask Minako if she saw who had had the cameras, but she was currently drooling at the show he had inadvertently put on, and judging by her position, she had been the one to move his clothes in his subspace pocket. _Mental note: make certain Minako can no longer move things around in my subspace pocket._

As he sat down, with Minako quickly snapping out of her stupor and taking a place at his side before another girl got the idea—though Luna seemed content to simply sit in his lap and be petted—and waited for the discussion to begin.

* * *

After about fifteen minutes, they had arranged a training schedule for either Ranma—and to the great disappointment since they wanted to solely have him—and Minako as well.

And now...

"WHAT?"

They decided it was time to breach the subject of Minako as The Princess.

Minako slowly stood, her eyes shaded by her bangs, her mouth clenching, before...

"YES! I AM THE QUEEN! MWA HAHAHAHAHA!"

Ranma merely sweatdropped, before handing Luna over to Ami on his other side; before being tackled by an amorous Minako.

"You hear that, Ranma? You're going to be my King!"

"Um," interrupted Nabiki, as she had been elected the spokesperson of the group so as to not confuse Minako and allow for her to maintain Ranma, "you already have a prince to marry: Tuxedo Mask."

Minako blinked, Ranma still clutched to her bosom, though now held away far enough not to be suffocated.

Yes, she did enjoy breathing life back into him.

No, he did not want to have her "practice" her life saving skills again.

"Excuse me?"

Luna drew her attention. "Princess Serenity and Prince Endymion are supposed to wed, and bring a thousand years of peace to Earth. As the Princess, you must marry Prince Endymion, also known as Tuxedo Mask."

Minako blinked. "I say Ranma is Prince Endymion."

Usagi blinked before sending a waterfall of tears. _WAH! Why didn't I say that?_

Luna shook her head. "No, we know who Endymion is. As such, you must marry him for the future of humanity, and not Ranma."

"Then I don't wanna be the Princess!" cried out Minako, before once again pulling Ranma into her chest and shaking him vigorously in a way that would have snapped the neck of a normal man.

Ranma merely sweatdropped again. He had no idea why he got in these situations, let alone how, but he knew that talking would only dig his grave deeper. So it was better for all involved if he just stayed quiet.

Besides, if he didn't say anything or move too much, maybe they would ignore him.

But, as he felt several separate sets of hands grab him, trying to remove him from the prison of Minako's hands and still developing chest, he knew that if he saw the light in a tunnel, he was walking towards it.

Girls were just too weird.

* * *

After a depressed and angry Minako left, promising she would locate the True Princess or proof that Ranma must be Endymion, the other girls sat around the table. Nabiki had left earlier to get the photos developed.

Soon, she was back downstairs with several manila envelops. "Okay, we have the choice shots of Ranma here. And you get all five shots for a mere pittance of ¥ 3000."

Soon, before she could even blink; the envelops were gone, and she soon found a large pile of cash on the table before her. _Yes, only the good snacks for Nabiki this week!_

Though she noticed that she was missing the manila envelop that was for her. But counting the money revealed that someone had given her the cash for it. _I wonder who._

* * *

In the house that would be the home for the Outer Planet Senshi, the only room with any light was the bath. In it, was five pictures neatly placed inside ornate frames, surrounded by candles.

In the tub, was a woman with long dark green hair, enjoying a comfortable bubble bath. "Soon, my love, soon we shall be together."

* * *

Back at the home of the Outer Moon Senshi, the other girls and one dazed female moon cat were ogling the photos, except for Nabiki, who had them stored on her computer, including those choice shots she planned to sell to the lonely women later.

Ami shook her head, sliding the photos carefully into the envelop, before placing them into her backpack in such a way as to ensure they would not be damaged. "We have seen the prize, we have met the enemy."

The girls currently not drooling nodded in agreement.

Makoto voiced their opinion. "As warriors of Love and Justice, we must work hard to ensure that the Princess marries Endymion, and that Omega Knight finds true love."

Usagi, however, was displaying another thought train, causing several layers of Hell to be closed due to blizzard conditions.

You see, she recalled that her Mom knew Ranma's Mom. As such, she not only had access to the inside track, but she could formalize a omiai before the others. Even if she ended up being the Princess in the end, she could not be expected to carry the marriage agreements of her past life to this one. She was Usagi Tsukino, not Princess Serenity. As such, she decided who she got nookie from, not Fate.

Plus, Auntie Nodoka always wanted her son to be manly. These photos would prove it.

She grinned evilly. Yes, no one had mentioned that Ranma had other engagements. She would just have to...correct that...the next time they met.

As the other girls backed away from Usagi, they noticed the aura of wailing souls surrounding her, demanding food.

Safe to say, when Usagi woke up from being blasted by the other Senshi, she would be that much more determined to win Ranma.

* * *

Beryl was confused. She had known of Omega Knight from the Dark Kingdom's earlier excursions into Great Britain, and knew how formidable he was.

When compared to Tuxedo Kamen, she knew exactly who the better fighter was.

But her instincts were confused. She had always believed that Tuxedo Kamen had been Endymion, the man of her dreams.

But the way he had been acting...

"My Queen, we have news."

She stopped her musings to face her Dark Generals. "Yes?"

Jadeite stepped forward. "My Queen, during a recent battle with the Senshi, we encountered this." He handed her a lone photo.

Beryl took the photo, looking it over, and proceeding to grin. "This had best not be all you have to inform me of. True, I have been without companionship for 10000 years, but a single photo of a stud will not spare your lives for failure."

Jadeite continued. "Sailor Moon seemed most interested in reacquiring this picture, calling it her token of her Knight. Tuxedo Kamen seemed to have no clue as to who was in the photo, but did admonish Sailor Moon for bringing such things with her."

Zoicite stepped forward. "Yes. When Omega Knight arrived to help them, she acted embarrassed and tried to keep him from retrieving the photo as well. We suspect it may be the photo of the human identity of Omega Knight, as well as that Sailor Moon apparently desires to be with him."

Now Beryl considered these words, sitting in her throne once again, as she stared at the photo. She had come to the conclusion last month that Sailor Moon had to be the daughter of Queen Serenity. After all, it wasn't like there had been a Sailor Moon then.

If that were true, then she would undoubtedly seek out Endymion. It had been one of the reasons they had suspected that Tuxedo Kamen was Endymion, as he seemed to first appear the same time as Sailor Moon, as well as sought to protect her.

But what if Endymion had been separated from the Princess, so as to better confuse their enemies? After all, Omega Knight acted more like a Prince than Kamen. His fighting prowess was well known even to Metallia. The fact that he hardly had any magic to him made him all that more impressive.

It was then obvious to her that the close relationship that he seemed to have with Sailor Venus was a ploy to further hide the target of Beryl's desires.

Yes, it had to be true. "So, it would appear that Omega Knight is really the reincarnated Endymion."

"It would appear so, my Queen," said Jadeite.

"Then make preparations to capture and bring Omega Knight here. I want him in as good condition as possible. Begin to stock food from Earth, so that he will not starve. He may even be of use to fully restore Metallia's full power, if we were correct in assuming how much Life Force he was capable of producing."

As the Generals nodded and left, glad that they had been spared, Beryl took the photo and headed off to her bed chambers.

Yes, she would enjoy this Endymion, as he embodied so much of what made her love him before. She just needed to make certain she was properly...prepared...to meet him.

* * *

On Earth, in Juuban District, a redheaded woman carrying a silk covered parcel suddenly had the feeling that her son's manliness level just shot up again. "Oh, I do hope my son is being so manly. Well, I better get over to Ikuko's. She said her daughter might have a lead on my son."

* * *

Omake by Lionheart:

He was soon assaulted by multiple flashes of light.

This had a two pronged effect. This caused instincts to take over and Ranma immediately fell into a defensive stance.

The second was that it gave the girls with cameras a perfect opportunity to get an action shot or a few dozen.

As he closed his eyes and turned around, given said girls the opportunity for some rump roast shots, he mentally began searching through his subspace pocket, locating his clothes, instead he found the pocket where his outfit got stashed had an auto-redirect hacked into it and the boy found himself covered in chocolate and raspberry syrup, with extra sprinkles and whipped cream used to draw in an outfit he didn't really have on.

A sexy outfit.

He had a moment to regret he'd ever used pocket manipulation as an example for Minako to get her interested in passing her computer class before he was mobbed by young women, some of them armed with spoons, others merely with open mouths.

* * *

Omake by Lord Raa:

Rei was stunned by the news that Setsuna had given her at the Senshi meeting.

"I'm the Princess?"

"Yes," the assembled warriors of Love and Justice™ nodded in agreement.

The long haired part time shrine priestess was not sure how to take that piece of information. "But that means I can't be with Ranma…"

"That's a shame," the green haired Senshi consoled, though there wasn't a vast amount of sincerity in her voice.

"Well, then I guess that I had better give out some orders," Rei mused. "I hereby declare Martian Law!"

"It's martial law, Rei-chan," Ami corrected.

"No, I declared Martian Law because I'm the Senshi of Mars," Rei explained with a grin. "And my first order is that Ranma is brought to me."

When no-one moved, Rei brought forth a fiery aura. "I meant that you should bring him here NOW!"

"W-what for?" Ami asked as she backed away slightly.

"For his new role," Rei laughed evilly, "as Prince Consort!"

"NEVER!" Minako and Makoto chorused.

"I see that a little demonstration is needed. Sir Phobos, Sir Deimos!"

Two ravens flew in through the open window and morphed into humanoid males.

"Discipline the traitors!" Rei ordered.

"My Lady," the two bullyboys bowed. They pulled out their weapons, and the Senshi did indeed feel fear and terror when they saw what was going to be used to "discipline" them.

"Rei-chan, you can't be serious!" Usagi pled with unshed tears in her eyes.

"Start with the meatball headed crybaby," Rei added with an evil smirk.

"WAAAH!" Usagi wailed, "Rei's such a mean tyrant!"

Soon the Senshi were on the receiving end of a vicious beat-down at the hands of two anthropomorphized raven enforcers armed with 15 inch black rubber dildos.

"It's good to be the Queen," Senshi of Mars declared before leaving to find Ranma and inform him of the situation and his new role.


	8. Chapter 8

**Ranma ½**

**Chapter 8**

**Tsukimaonichuan:****Spring of Drowned Moon Cat**

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave.

If you like, please review, as well as let me know of any spelling errors. I will then re-upload this chapter when I do my next upload.

If you like, check out my other stories.

I also plan to start sending these out to have someone else proofread them before I post them. Volunteers are welcome.

Now, on with the show.

* * *

Usagi Tsukino was in a foul mood.

First was the fact that she discovered that the hunk that she was engaged to was engaged to several other girls. That didn't sit well for her, as from all appearances, they had been made for each other.

Well, those appearances were mostly in her own mind, of them performing several sexual scenes she had caught when their cable provider had offered free weekends of the Happy Times channel.

_Talk about false advertising. I didn't see one happy cat in all those movies. 'Lovely kitties' my ass._

Second was the battle at the park after the meeting. The Dark Generals had all arrived with several youma, and proceeded to try and kill them. During the scuffle, Sailor Moon had lost one of the photos of Ranma.

The one with the excellent shot of his...dangly parts.

Not only was Nabiki going to charge her ¥1000 for a new copy, but none of the other girls would loan her their copies so she could take it to a photo-copy store.

But, thankfully, the battle had given them the opportunity to send Tuxedo Cheerleader—a.k.a. Tuxedo Kamen—after Sailor Venus.

_The bastard just had to say I was too flat to be the Princess!_

Well, she was certain when he transformed back, the cane wouldn't still be shoved up there.

Taking a deep breath, she smiled and began to walk home, excitement growing in her.

She still had the inside track. Her Mother had a formal agreement with Ranma's Mother for their marriage.

Well, true that it might interfere with any plans she had for after high school, considering the stud would never leave her bed if she had a word about it, she would gladly make such a sacrifice.

After all...family honor was on the line.

_I'll have to hurry, though. I just know Makoto will play that "lonely little orphan" card._

So, she steeled herself at her front door, wondering where Luna had run off to, and opened it...

...to be tackled by a redheaded woman.

"Have you seen my son? Was he manly? Do I have grandbabies? Why aren't you answering me?"

Ikuko giggled. "No-chan, please release my daughter. She hasn't breast fed since she was one."

As Usagi got her breath back, she began to wonder if those dancing chocolate cakes in her vision would taste good.

But, her day hit another low point, as her future mother-in-law held up the remaining pictures she had. "Is this my son?"

Usagi could only gulp and nod as her own Mother came to look at those photos. "Damn, your Father is definitely going to start working out at the gym more."

"WAH! MY SON'S SO MANLY; HIS FIANCEE HAS DIRTY PICTURES OF HIM!"

Usagi disappeared into the house, promising to never show her face in the neighborhood again, after what Nodoka had just done.

* * *

Usagi entered her room to prepare for the omiai her Mother had set up, and had to do so quickly before her Father returned. After all, guys with shotguns tend to upset perspective mother-in-laws.

And she discovered Luna setting a formal kimono on her bed. "Luna?"

"You need to look your best. Now hurry and get this on. We need to hurry this up before the others catch on."

So intent was Usagi on capturing Ranma for herself, she failed to notice that Luna had also purchased a set of pictures.

As she dressed, she also failed to notice the devious eyes Luna had acquired.

Luna hid those eyes under the bed, hoping the mice didn't see them, or they would want their leader's remains back.

The moon cat had already devised a plan. Since it was doubtful she would acquire the hunk if he had human females as companions and she currently had no idea if or how she could acquire a human form, she needed to sneak herself into his paws.

So, it came down to a simple plan. First, she would secure the hunk for her charge. Then, while her charge was away at school...Luna would finally break her dry spell.

After all, Ranma is a part time moon cat, and as such, would be affected by moon cat tendencies.

She just had to hope for a short honeymoon, or that he moved in. After all, she wanted to enjoy her heat this time.

But this all depended on Usagi not making a circus fool out of herself, and not getting Nodoka to postpone the engagement until the next generation.

If Usagi did...then may Serenity help her, because Luna would kill her.

No one messes with a moon cat's nookie.

* * *

Usagi sat on her bed, staring unblinkingly at the door.

She was engaged to Ranma.

This was good.

Nodoka wanted grandbabies immediately.

That could be bad.

Nodoka didn't mind that Ranma turned into a cat.

This was good.

Nodoka wanted cute neko grandbabies through Luna and Ranma.

This could be bad.

_I'm supposed to have his first litter...I mean, first child!_

Luna was purring up a storm on Nodoka's lap. _Yes, she shoots...she scores._

Now, they just had to wait for Minako to show up with their intended.

* * *

With Minako still attached to his arm, Ranma found his mind wondering on his way to finally meet his Mother.

The first thing was wondering why the idiot in the top hat looked so upset with him when Sailor Venus grabbed his arm. It wasn't like they had dated before. He didn't think they had dated before.

Of course, that took a back seat to wondering why Sailor Moon had then shoved the penguin's cane up his ass.

Another had been what the picture was that Sailor Moon had been trying to keep him from seeing. She seemed embarrassed that he had seen it, as well as pissed that the Dark Generals had stolen it. _Maybe it was an embarrassing family photo of when she was younger._

He ignored it for now. Minako had wanted to meet his Mother as well, most likely to talk about something he knew it was best for him not to know.

After all, hearing girl talk tended to fry a man's mind. He recalled seeing a few guys at Minako's schools; teachers mostly, calling some long number to talk to girls and hear them talk with other girls. They usually ended up drooling and looking like their brains were gone.

He counted himself fortunate. When Minako's friends would visit, he was able to catch some sleep, as he didn't have to worry about surprise attacks from her when others might see.

Sighing—and thus not noticing Minako squeezing his arm to her chest, or the stares other girls were giving them—he continued on to the Tsukino home. He did have to wonder now what his Mother would think of him. He was living with a girl four years his junior, cursed to change into a talking cat, fought monsters, and was often tackled by his amorous charge.

What mother would love a son like that?

* * *

"WHAT?"

Normally, Minako was calm and caring, enjoying life.

Now, she was willing to bet she was putting out an aura close to demonic in power. She had just been told that her boyfriend/sextoy/sensei/advisor/future-spouse was engaged to another girl by his Mother, and that she had been accepted as First Mistress.

Usagi—the enemy Minako had just sworn she would now hunt for eternity and see burning in a pit of hellfire—was visibly upset that Minako would be getting some of her husband as well, but put that off for later, after they would be married. After all, she didn't plan to let her husband sleep around. It was bad enough she was beginning to suspect Luna was making her own plans for Usagi's knight.

Ranma was passed out on the floor. First he had been deprived of oxygen as Nodoka embraced him in a way that nearly suffocated him. Then, he was told that he was engaged to marry Usagi, could keep Minako as a Mistress, and it was okay if he had kittens with Luna.

Suffice to say, the Ranma OS found a major programming fault and froze.

Ikuko was talking with Nodoka about her plans to have her son-in-law run around like the Milk Man.

Nodoka wasn't listening, dreaming of grandchildren and cute little kittens.

Luna didn't give a rat's ass, as she was set since the girls still had school.

The hidden mouse was swearing. The cat who had stolen their king's devious eyes had been found. They needed to plan soon for a strike.

* * *

"What the hell are you trying to pull, Usagi?" asked Minako.

The four were in Usagi's room, with Ranma passed out on the bed where the girls had laid him, Luna on his chest, purring.

Usagi tried to look innocent, but the act was not good enough to fool another woman, as it had only been tested on a father. "It is for family honor, I have to do it."

"Riiiiight. Like I'm going to believe that."

"Didn't you say it was destiny that Ranma found you?" Seeing Minako nod, she continued. "Well, it led him here as well to do what our family honors' demand."

"And exactly how long have you known about this honor pack?" asked Minako, her voice still suspicious.

"Well, my mom asked how my day was, and I told her I met a person named Ranma who was going to train me to be a martial artist. Before I even explained a little lie why I wanted to learn, she jumped and assumed he was a guy named Ranma Saotome. Fast forward through some boring details, and apparently our mothers made this promise that we are now duty-bound to fulfill."

Luna smirked. Yes, coaching Usagi before Minako had shown up was proving to be her best idea. With the script she made, even Minako would believe Usagi was innocent.

"When I left to meet you guys, Mom told me that if it really was Ranma Saotome, to let her know. Since his mother has been looking for him for a long time, she was really hoping." Usagi bowed her head, forcing some tears. "I'm sorry if you hate me, but I have to do it. My Mom is really heavy on family honor."

Luna tried to not look distressed. Minako didn't appear to be buying it. After all, Usagi had said her family had discussed Ranma both before and after the meeting. Something wasn't adding up, and the cat began plans to eliminate the blond female. She was risking her nookie on the hopes that Minako wouldn't catch that little slip.

"He's mine, Usagi!"

Luna calmed down. It looked like she didn't have to kill Usagi...tonight.

Usagi forced herself to pull out the last resort weapon Luna had given her: the rock and the hard place speech. "Okay, then you can go and explain to my mother, his mother, and your own parents about how you are disregarding family honor and trying to make the man you claim to love dishonorable. I'm certain they'd love to hear that."

Minako blinked. She knew Ranma valued his honor. It was what made him so yummy.

But then she'd have to let him go. Why had the Powers That Be done this to her? Hadn't she been their best warrior? Hadn't she trained long and hard? Didn't she deserve to have her little Nookie Warrior of Love and Justice for herself?

She began to cry, which was soon led to an enveloping hug from Usagi as she tried to comfort her.

Luna just smiled, choosing to ignore the changing expressions of Usagi who went to caring and compassionate when Minako would look at her, to devious and happy when the blond was crying her eyes out in his shirt. After all, they just needed to finalize a wedding date within the next few days.

Only one person could stop her now.

* * *

Pluto was incensed. Usagi had done the impossible: formed a near perfect plan and executed it flawlessly.

She now had the firm grasp on the pigtailed warrior.

"Damn it, I just had to fall asleep in the tub. Damn relaxing bubbles!"

Sure, the daydreams she had had about Omega Knight and herself enjoying the fruits of a glorious day, the passion they fell into every free moment, the kids...

Setsuna shook her head. No, now was not the time to be lost in thought. Raising her Garnet Staff, she began to search throughout the timelines that might exist, trying to find a way to get Ranma for herself.

Damn it, she had been without for 10,000 years waiting for the Senshi to awake, and another 3,000 before the Great Fall, because she was so "untouchable".

No, she would not lose such a fine...specimen as Ranma. She needed to find a way to disband the honor agreement until the next generation, keep Luna from sinking her claws into him, while steering him away from the other Senshi.

So, she would work tirelessly to win her prize. After all, she put in all the leg work, shouldn't she get the bonus?

* * *

Mamoru sat on his inflatable donut. The good news was that the doctors had said there was no permanent trauma to his...back exit.

The bad news was that he wouldn't be walking right for a few days.

The worse news was all the stares he was getting from guys. He knew what they were thinking.

Picking up a medical dictionary, he quickly needed to come up with an excuse that was believable for why he was walking bow-legged.

* * *

The battle was entered with renewed vigor. The Outer Moon Senshi, Pluto, Jupiter, Mars, and Mercury were each trying to impress Omega Knight with their abilities.

Venus was literally ripping the youmas apart, as she needed some stress relief.

Moon was finding herself—much to the hatred of the other Senshi—constantly being protected by Omega Knight. He was fighting the close-up battles for her, as she powered up and released her attacks.

The Dark Generals were off to the side, the youma fighting too closely for Omega Knight to break away to get them, as well as Venus too pissed to summon her Crescent Beam Cannon.

Kunzite smiled. "Looks like we were right. Look how he protects her."

"Yes," Jadeite nodded. "Soon, Queen Beryl will have Endymion."

"Well then," Zoicite added, "let's capture him. Lady Beryl wants him now."

With a raised hand, the Generals looked towards their youma, as they exploded as a group.

When the Senshi began to come to, they saw the Dark Generals grabbing the tattered body of Omega Knight, and waved goodbye, before teleporting away.

Moon stood up, her fist raised to the sky. "BRING HIM BACK, NOW! OUR WEDDING'S TOMORROW!"

"WHAT?" cried out the other Senshi who did not know of Usagi's impending nuptials.

"Eep," she said, as Venus smiled on. _Yes, looks like her goose is baked._

* * *

Omake by Lord Raa:

Pluto was not happy with Usagi's declaration that she was going to be wed to Ranma before the week was out. That wasn't her biggest concern, after all, with the Time Gates, almost anything could be changed with enough jiggery-pokery.

What took her displeasure to the state of Promethean Rage™ was the fact that the five Inner Senshi and the Outer Moon Senshi had allowed Ranma to be kidnapped by Beryl's forces.

She turned he steely-eyed gaze to the blonde who'd blurted out her impending nuptials.

"Usagi, do you have any idea how long it has been since I was last intimate with a suitable man?"

"No," the meatball-headed blonde shook her head.

"What do you mean suitable, Setsuna?" Ami asked, she too was unhappy about the disappearance of Ranma.

The green haired woman sighed as she began to tick points off her fingers. "Handsome, athletic, generously equipped in the trouser department, able to learn and adapt advanced techniques with great ease, the ability to hold his breath for over five minutes, and the fact that once the official relationships were carved in stone, he'd divide his time equally between the five of us."

"Five of you?" Minako asked, not liking the sound of that.

"Yes, didn't you know about the polygamous marriage that was planned?"

The girls all shook their heads.

"Ranma, me, Makoto, Minako, Rei and one other Senshi. I can't remember if it was an outer planet or an outer moon, though," Setsuna sighed. "One day with each of us, one day with all of us and one day for him to recover. But now, you've gone and done it – Beryl's been as lonely as me for these past 10,000 years and she's a deviant at the best of times! Who knows what kind of sick and depraved things poor Ranma's being subjected to?"

* * *

In a darkened room, Ranma stood with his shackled arms above his head. All over his body, there were small cuts and bruises, but they were not from interrogation.

No, Beryl had decided to break out her bag of toys and Ranma was being beaten with a black rubber chicken.

"Have it!" the deranged woman shouted as she brought it repeatedly down on the cursed boy's back.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Ranma demanded when his abuser got tired.

"Incompetent underlings and confused homonyms," Beryl replied sadly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Ranma ½**

**Chapter 9**

**Tsukimaonichuan:****Spring of Drowned Moon Cat**

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave.

If you like, please review, as well as let me know of any spelling errors. I will then re-upload this chapter when I do my next upload.

If you like, check out my other stories.

I also plan to start sending these out to have someone else proofread them before I post them. Volunteers are welcome.

Now, on with the show.

* * *

The Senshi had gathered at the Tendo Dojo in Juuban, making plans to rescue their hunk from the foul forces of Queen Beryl.

Well, that was what they eventually planned to do. They had another matter to attend to first.

"All who believe Sailor Moon is guilty?" asked Sailor Mercury, conducting the tribunal.

"Yea!" came the response from the other Senshi, including a very irate Sailor Venus.

Mercury chuckled. "All who believe Sailor Moon is innocent?"

"MMRPH!" came the muted reply of said Senshi. She felt as if this trial wasn't even fair for her.

This was true. Her trial had been conducted with her being tied up naked and suspended over a fire; a ball gag in her mouth that Sailor Triton had graciously donated. Her supposed jury was filled with lonely girls after the same guy she was supposed to marry tomorrow.

She had been accused of the crime of trying to steal the dream boat for herself, as well as wed him in secret.

Why Sailor Pluto missed this, no one really knew. But then again, in another universe, this is the same woman who missed the arrival of every enemy after Beryl...and she had something that's supposed to tell the damn future.

Then again, she didn't really see all this either.

"Then we are agreed to a unanimous decision. Sailor Moon is hereby found guilty. What are the suggestions for her punishment?"

Sailor Charon smiled. "I say...she's the Princess, and we find Tuxedo Mask this instant and have them married."

Sailor Moon's eyes grew wide as she screamed into the gag.

"Damn, that's good," said Sailor Mars. "The only thing I could come up with is have her eat Titania's cooking for a month."

Moon nodded that she agreed with that punishment. Anything was better than marrying Tux-boy.

"Can we worry about this **after** we've rescued Ranma?" cried out Luna. She didn't really care if they dropped Usagi in the fire and poured acid over the girl. She wanted them to retrieve the hunky moon cat.

Well, at least she didn't have to worry about what's-his-name anymore.

* * *

Artemis smiled as he padded around the room, enjoying that Pluto had dropped him off at the home of his lesbian Senshi so that he might watch...I mean, observe and train them.

"Now, where are they?" he asked.

"Oh, we're being a Mr. Smarty-mouth today, Kei?"

"Oh, hush, Tai."

Strangely, Artemis paled even more.

True...they were homosexual.

But they weren't Senshi.

And they sure as hell weren't lesbians.

"Oh, you naughty boy! You better be planning on finishing what you start!"

The two men stopped their foreplay as they heard a window break; wondering what had jumped out of their tenth floor apartment and through a plate glass window?

* * *

"We do need to hurry," said Sailor Pluto. "Queen Beryl was not known for her sexual favorings of the Dark Generals. As such, she would have over 10,000 years of celibacy to take out on Omega Knight."

"No, she can't corrupt my hunky advisor!" screamed out Sailor Venus.

The girls nodded. But Sailor Jupiter proposed the main question. "But how do we get into the Negaverse to rescue him?" This of course led her to a quick daydream of him...thanking...her for saving him single handedly.

Oddly enough, it was the usually sweet and innocent Sailor Triton who offered a solution. "Oh my, I say we find a youma and torture them to tell us how to get into the Negaverse, into Queen Beryl's Castle, and any locations where they might be keeping Ranma-kun."

The others just blinked at the sweet and mad hatter-like gaze of Sailor Triton. Sailor Mars just shrugged. "Works for me." She turned to the others. "Find a youma, get the information, and meet back here in seven hours. We'll compare notes and ensure we weren't lied to, and then off to rescue the Prince."

"And if you see Tuxedo Mask," said Sailor Venus, looking towards the still bound Moon, "let him know he's getting married tomorrow to Little Miss Backstabber."

And thus they took off into the night.

Luna just stared up at her charge. Part of her wanted to knock some more wood onto the fire and burn the blond haired bitch that had seriously hurt her chances of claiming the precious Moon Cat Nookie.

Then again, if the others got to Ranma before then, they might not take too kindly to her making a move on his cursed form.

So...reluctantly, she cut down Sailor Moon...dumping her into the fire.

Hey, she needed some payback.

"Now, Usagi," said Luna, her voice low and threatening, "you had better not mess up this chance, or so help me, I'll ensure you marry Kamen and then have your parents ban you from meats and sweets. You'll only be able to eat vegetables when I'm finished with you. Are we...understood?"

"Eep! I mean, yes, ma'am." And off she went.

Luna just sighed, shaking her head. "You think she would have at least summoned her uniform back."

Luckily, or unluckily, depending on who you are rooting for in this fic, someone was...kind...enough to point out Sailor Moon's little forgetfulness.

"Damn, I knew you were flat chested, but you're built like a nine-year-old boy as well. Are you even female?"

"KAMEN NO BAKA HENTAI!"

And thus a new satellite was launched into orbit.

* * *

Several youma had been captured and taken to an abandoned warehouse in Juuban. Strangely, there were a lot of these abandoned warehouses, but that was a matter for city planners to deal with.

Sailor Pluto and the Outer Moon Senshi just stared at the captured youma.

"We'll never tell you anything!" cried out on of them.

Pluto just smiled. "Well then, we have your taste testers, Titania."

The youma looked confused as the dark blue haired girl Senshi brought in a pot with radiation symbols on it.

"You know," said Sailor Titania, "I was banned from cooking, but Sailor Pluto was kind enough to allow me to use you guys as guinea pigs."

"Better them than us," muttered Sailor Charon. She turned towards them. "Now here's how it's going to go. We ask a question. If we think you're lying, or you don't answer, you get to eat a bowl full of..."

"It's Chicken Rice with Cheese!" said Titania as she sat the pot on the table, using her ladle to slap a tentacle that peered out from under the lid.

"Now, be so kind as to tell us what we want to know," said Sailor Triton. "But let me explain something more.

"If you hold anything back, we'll feed you. If you bend the truth or we think you're bending the truth, we'll feed you. If you forget anything, we'll feed you. In fact, you're going to have to work very hard to stay alive. Now, do you understand everything I've said, because if you don't, we'll feed you?"

* * *

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" screamed the youma as Sailor Mercury snapped off another of its horns after she froze it.

Sailor Mercury looked at the horn, before tossing it on a pile with several others and two shattered youma. "Now, I'm trying to be nice here. I really am. Now, tell me what I need to know, and maybe I'll let you go."

It's always the shy ones.

* * *

Sailor Venus looked at the tied up youma she had managed to get, smiling at the dozen she had collected. "Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.

"The easy way is you tell me what I want to know and I let you go, consider you lose ends."

"And the hard way is?" asked a brave youma.

Sailor Venus smiled, before her Love-Me chain lashed out, slashing the youma into dozens of pieces, not even giving its mouth time to scream.

She turned to the surviving others. "The winner gets to leave alive. Now, I think I'll ask...you!"

"WAH! I DON'T WANNA DIE!"

Smirking, Venus moved closer to start asking questions.

And her parents said you couldn't learn anything from watching violent television.

* * *

"Where is he?" Sailor Moon asked, slamming her captor's head into the table again. "Well?"

"You haven't asked me who you're looking for!" pleaded the guy.

"Omega Knight!" she screamed. "Where is he?"

"I don't know; I'm just a cable company employee!" he screamed.

"Oh," she said, looking somewhat embarrassed. "Then we need to talk about false advertisement on the Happy Times Channel. I watched the whole free weekend, and there wasn't one damn kitten in those movies."

She then turned to the youma who were cowering in the corner of the smokey bar. "Don't go anywhere, you guys are next."

No, they weren't going anywhere for a while.

* * *

The pain-filled cries of the last youma faded into the echoes of the alley as Sailor Mars dropped her hands, walking over to the next youma, and lifted it up by the front armor with one hand while the Sacred Flame gathered in her free hand. "Now, will you answer my questions, or do you wish to be charcoal?"

The youma all gulped. Since when did the good guys become so blood thirsty?

* * *

Sailor Jupiter smiled, enjoying the feeling of cutting loose on the enemy as another youma turned to dust and floated in the pool at school.

The seven remaining youma struggled to stay together as Jupiter raised her hand from the pool, stopping the electric surge into the water. "Now, please be so kind as to tell me what I wish to know?"

The youma were all swearing that if they survived this, they'd go someplace safe; like Los Angles or the Middle East.

* * *

Beryl smiled at the caged form of Omega Knight, his form no longer bleeding, but the clothing she magically placed on him did nothing to hide his physique. "Well, now this is truly a man worthy of my time."

The two straight Dark Generals gave a sigh of relief. Towards the end of their imprisonment, Beryl had started looking good to them, as well as she started staring at them, licking her lips and muttering about fresh meat.

Jadeite smiled, knowing they would all now live for years to come. "My Queen, perhaps you should wake him and show him the errors of his ways."

Smiling, she nodded, licking her lips. As much as she wished to, she knew she could not wake her delicious Prince with a kiss, as he might try and escape her grasps due to Serenity's spells. So, she settled for a bucket of cold water, and tossed it.

"WHAT THE HELL?" screamed a white moon cat.

The Dark Generals slowly edged their way to the door, in hopes that if they were quick enough, and they might be able to teleport back to Earth and hide out from their mad Queen.

"Damn you Serenity!" cried out Beryl. "No wonder we had such a hard time finding him! That white-haired bitch turned him into a moon cat!"

The Generals let out a sigh of relief.

But Beryl wasn't paying attention to them. "Tell me how to turn you back...**now**."

She then gave Ranma...**The Look!**

For those of you who don't know what **The Look** is, it is a strong power only females and certain gay men have. It is a stare that reaches into the depths of your soul, into places that would scare Kami and demons alike. It twists your spirit, forcing away any self confidence or self image you have, reverting you into a spineless wimp. In this gaze, you will do whatever or say whatever you need to so that it will end.

Minako was very good at the gaze.

Beryl was a virgin for over ten thousand years; she was a Grand Mistress of **The Look**.

"Hot water changes me back; cold water turns me into a cat! Please don't hurt me!"

In Ranma's defense, only one male ever survived **The Look** for longer than one minute, and it forever left him without a will or spine.

* * *

Across the multiverse, Shinji Ikari sneezed, which made him apologize to whomever and whatever was nearby.

* * *

Smiling, she quickly returned to **The Look**. "Now, you won't try to harm anyone here or escape, **will you**?"

"Eep! No ma'am, I'll be good and obey every order you give."

"Good," she said, reaching into the now open cage and carefully cradling her new lover. "Is my room prepared, Zoicite?"

"Yes, my Queen," said the Dark General. "The room has been filled with cherries, whipped cream, hot chocolate, ice cream, an assortment of hot foods to ensure he keeps his strength, the finest wines and beverages we could find, and the intercom has been set up to play Barry White."

Looking into her eyes, Ranma nearly broke there.

He had seen that look before. Minako carried that look when no one was watching her near him.

Beryl's look told him he wasn't likely to survive the night.

* * *

"Okay," said Sailor Pluto, as she finished compiling the information the Senshi had gathered from their informants. "We now know how to get into Beryl's Fortress, as well as the likely places she would be keeping Ranma."

"Yep," said Sailor Moon. "And I now know what the kitties they were referring to on the Happy Times Channel, and I got free cable from now until we all die!" she smiled in happy thoughts.

Sailor Charon blinked, but considered this a good start for Sailor Moon in her way towards forgiveness. Now if she could only get free cable internet thrown in with that.

"Is everyone ready?" asked Sailor Pluto.

Her response was a clanking sound as the Senshi lifted assorted weaponry; a red battle aura forming around them.

She then smiled, lifting her fire extinguisher. She had her Dead Scream. Her item was in case Beryl was already in the process of invalidating Ranma's warranty by removing his innocence from the box.

"Then, let's go save Ranma and stop Beryl's evil plans for Studly Domination!"

The Senshi really didn't care about the world anymore. They were warriors of Love and Justice, and it was about time they got the Love part.

* * *

Omake by GaelicDragon:

Ranma knew he was in trouble

Well, the bars where considered only a temporary measure. He had a few tricks that didn't require outside power sources to escape cages.

The problem was the woman outside...Ranma had found out when he was guiding Minako that he had one weakness...

It was redheads.

And this one is evil...now he knows that he is f


	10. Chapter 10

**Ranma ½**

**Chapter 10**

**Tsukimaonichuan:****Spring of Drowned Moon Cat**

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave.

If you like, please review, as well as let me know of any spelling errors. I will then re-upload this chapter when I do my next upload.

Now, on with the show.

* * *

Within the Negaverse, rumors were beginning to spread like wildfire.

The Sailor Senshi had gone mad.

Now, while rumors were often discounted, these were found quite easy to believe.

First, their forces on Earth had taken a major nosedive in numbers. Hundreds of hidden youma were uncovered in quite a short amount of time.

Second, the ones who had remained quickly teleported back, leaving Earth without one youma for the moment.

Third, the lone three youma who had returned had to be restrained from ending their own lives, madly yelling about psychotic Senshi who enjoyed torturing them.

The proof was more in how these youma looked. Claws were missing or broken, skin colors were unhealthy—even for them, fur was ripped out, their bodies littered with burns, broken noses, and one had a cable box shoved somewhere where reception was going to be a problem.

Since many had joked that the Inner Senshi were the weakest link in the group—Triton and the Outer Moon Senshi were on the "Run Like Hell" list since Triton loved to use her Trident and poke youma until it poked out the other side—they figured any of them could take them. It had become a ritual; much like those monsters that continued to attack that American City called Townsville.

But unlike there, the heroes in short skirts and ditzy personalities had turned from Marilyn Monroe to Marilyn Manson in one night.

And all do to the newest acquisition by their Queen.

So, it was quite understandable when they witnessed the Sailor Senshi arrive through a portal that they did not go for the "roar and attack" routine.

Instead, their small brains came to one conclusion: Sailor Triton had taught them how to kill.

And like a newborn youma, they sought out to enjoy the blood of their kill.

"IT'S SAILOR MOON!" screamed one youma.

"RUN!"

Sadly, some were not that smart, and ran towards the Senshi to score some points.

These poor demons had their necks snapped, limbs ripped off, and used as projectiles to take down the smarter youma who were running away.

And that was just from Sailor Mercury.

You don't want to know what the others were doing to the youma.

* * *

Artemis was pissed, even with all the pain killers running through his system.

He didn't know how, but he was still alive after a ten story plunge into the streets.

Sailor Pluto was now on his "Those Whom Shall Feel My Mighty Mooncat Wrath" list, thanks to her joke of dumping him in an apartment being lived in by two gay guys.

Not that he was homophobic. One didn't live in the Silver Millennium without witnessing such things.

But, he did not like gay males.

Lesbianism; however, was a very beautiful thing in his opinion; something he would support for all the time he lived.

Of course, had he paid attention to the pictures on the wall, he would have seen that the duo was merely house sitting for the Outer Senshi pair, as they had yet to finish the purchase via Michiru's parents to move into the house she had there in Juuban.

So now, he sat in a local veterinary clinic inside a full body cast, waiting for Pluto to try and check in, using his moon magic to try and heal his bones faster. _When I see that green haired bitch, I'm going to claw her eyes out and—_

"Pierre!"

_Pierre in her closet while... Pierre?_

Before Artemis knew it, and much to the pain of his still-healing bones and organs, he was picked up by the Nerima kleptomaniac Azusa Shiratori, who immediately painted his cast pink and ran from the clinic, ignoring the protesting screams of the main vet.

Artemis simmered. His list just kept getting longer.

Now, if he could only remember that flip with a twist he was to do to summon the Moon Kingdom's usual WMD. He felt this place needed a massive cleansing.

* * *

Tuxedo Kamen sighed as he stood on the rooftop observing the Tendo Dojo of Juuban. Today had been a day filled with many questions.

Sailor Moon wasn't one of them. As far as he was concerned, she was a flat-chested psychotic bitch who needed to be tested for rabies.

No, his main issues were right now with the Moon Princess: Sailor Venus.

As her destined husband, he was concerned for her safety. But someone was trying to steal his girl from him.

Omega Knight.

_That bastard is trying to upset a love that has transcended time and space!_

He had been observing the Dojo to determine if they knew the identity of the scoundrel so that Kamen could educate him on what happens to those lowly peasants who dare usurp the Prince's intended.

And after days of observations—and a few hours finding and reading the diaries of the Outer Moon Senshi—he discovered the name of his arch rival for the fair and pure heart of Sailor Venus was—

"RANMA SAOTOME, BECAUSE OF YOU, I'VE SEEN HELL!"

Kamen blinked. "Did I speak my thoughts again?"

Looking down, he saw a man with a fanged face, a leopard bandana around his head. He had on a large parka, a large backpack, a bamboo umbrella, and appeared to have a koala hugging his backpack and munching on some leaves.

"I HAVE YOU NOW, SAOTOME!" cried the man, after reading the sign on the Dojo. "You thought you could hide from me at the Tendo Dojo here in Nerima, but I have you now!"

Kamen blinked. "He thinks we're in Nerima?"

As the boy took off running away from the Dojo, claiming his vengeance was about to be meted out, Kamen followed, believing the boy would lead him to Omega Knight.

Neither noticed as they faded from sight.

* * *

The Dark Generals were shocked to see Queen Beryl exit her bed chambers in nothing more than a smile, before she ripped a pike away from one of the youma guards.

"This should do," she said, testing the weight of the pike. "Damn bastard won't come off the ceiling," she muttered as she went back into her bed chambers.

"So," said Jadeite, noticing his Queen was now pale white when she had strutted around, "she's fused with Metallia."

Nephrite nodded. "I would figure as much. One must doubt that the demon goddess held up any better than her chaotic avatar." He leaned back from his chair, looking towards a gauge that indicated how much energy said goddess had. "But the man is generating a lot of life force. Metallia's already half full."

Kunzite nodded as he and Zoicite continued to cuddle. "I figure in an hour or so, she'll be up to full power, assuming they don't kill him first in bed or when he doesn't desire to perform."

"SIR!" cried out a frantic youma.

"What is it?" asked Jadeite. He had been trying to enjoy his vacation. No deranged Queen, no missions with any chance of success, no fearing for his manhood on the nights Beryl seemed way too lonely. Damn it, he was trying to relax.

"The Sailor Senshi have begun attacking."

"Well, kill them," said Kunzite. Really, were the youma that slow?

"Our forces are in retreat, sir," said the youma. "All we get over the channels are screams and something about banshee bloodthirsty bitches from hell."

Sighing, Jadeite got up from his comfy chair and looked out the window towards the battle, taking out a pair of binoculars, and looked.

His pale face and quick gasps made the others curious as to what he had seen. No, he would not look at Sailor Mars the same again after seeing exactly how she had killed that youma.

Jadeite turned to the youma. "So, they have come back to get Endymion."

"Yes sir," said the youma. "Each one has been heard yelling about how they will save their Ranma from the foul clutches of the evil skank."

Jadeite blinked. "For Sailor Moon?"

"No sir, they appear to mean for themselves."

"Damn, " muttered Zoicite. "What did the boy do to win over all the Senshi."

"Further proof his is really Endymion," said Kunzite. "Who else would be manly enough to win over all of those cold fishes."

Of course, Jadeite was thinking of something else.

Namely, he was thinking of what his Queen would do to them if she was left nookie-less.

She would be pissed.

She would blow shit up.

She would look towards her Dark Generals to take care of her itch.

Grabbing the youma, Jadeite stared into its eyes. "Reorganize the troops for an assault on the Senshi. Remind them who they are taking away from Queen Beryl, and remind them what she **will** do if she loses him again."

The youma was smart enough to understand what was meant—an oddity in the Negaverse that usually ended up with said youma being beaten and forced to watch PBS until their IQ equaled their height, as a smart soldier for evil tended to get ideas of wanting more power.

So, it was quickly able to come to the conclusion that it was FUBAR'd beyond hope. So, it was left to choose which death would be the least painful.

Smartly, it chose the Senshi.

* * *

Beryl sighed once again as she entered the room with the pike, seeing that once again, the reincarnated Prince of Earth had come down long enough to eat a good portion of the prepared Earth foods, before jumping back up to cling to the ceiling like a gecko.

"GET DOWN HERE!"

"Not a chance in hell!" screamed Ranma. _Man; and I thought Minako was grabby!_

Growling, Beryl began to use the pike, trying to knock him off his perch, or injure him to the point he might drop from blood loss. She had tried using her magic, but the damn guy was too fast and dodged them. She tried drugging him, but he shook them off.

Finally, Metallia had fused with her.

Guy still wouldn't come down.

Then she tried **The Look**.

He ignored it.

Finally, the fused Goddess decided to use one last option. "My Prince, please look at me?" she asked, sniffling and crying some tears.

Now one weakness of the cursed boy/moon cat/Senshi squeeze toy was to girls crying. Deciding he couldn't let that continue, he looked at Beryl.

Only to find out the said woman was now completely nude, and standing in such a way that Ranma was forced to see everything.

He hit the floor on his back doing Mach 3.

Smiling to herself that the big guns could still take down any battleship, she sauntered over to him, to claim her prize.

* * *

Wave after wave of youma soon met their quick ends, the Senshi no longer having the time to literally take each youma apart piece by piece. In their hearts, they could feel that Beryl was getting closer to claiming Ranma for her own.

And frankly, that wasn't gonna happen if they had a choice.

"We may need a distraction," said Sailor Titania, as she used her Hammer to send another half dozen youma into LNO (lower Negaverse orbit).

"How about we send Moon out there with a sign that says free lunch?" said Pluto.

"WAH! My teammates don't like me!"

"Oh, but you did try to steal Ranma-kun from us for yourself," said Triton.

"But Luna made me!" cried Sailor Moon.

This caused Sailor Mercury to stop, several youma surrounding her, but frozen for the moment. "That furry bitch wants Ranma for herself!"

Jupiter sighed. "Told you Moon wasn't smart enough to plan that out."

"Guys," interrupted Charon, "we still need a distraction, or we'll lose another hunk to the forces of evil skanks."

"NOW WHERE THE HELL AM I?"

"SAILOR VENUS, I HAVE COME TO RESCUE YOU!"

The battling groups stopped, as a tuxedo clad fighter and somebody carrying what had to be a stolen koala appeared from nowhere, shouting at Senshi.

"Shit," muttered Venus.

Pluto smiled, realizing they had a chance now. "Ryoga Hibiki!"

"Huh?" said the koala stealer.

"The person you seek is that way," said Pluto, physically pointing Ryoga in the direction. "He is about to deflower a noble princess."

"DAMN YOU, SAOTOME!" cried out Ryoga. "YOUR DISHONOR KNOWS NO LIMITS!" he cried, running in the direction of the castle.

Hearing the name of his hated rival as well, Tuxedo Kamen bowed before the girls. "I apologize, my love, but I must depart to smash the foul usurper to our love. I bid thee a good day!" he said, dashing off after Ryoga.

"Was that a good idea?" asked Mars.

"Who cares," said Pluto, "it worked, didn't it."

Soon, the Senshi followed the umbrella wielding koala-thief as he tore through the youma towards the castle.

* * *

"Curse you, Ranma!" cried out Ryoga. "To consort with demons while you defile a young maiden; truly you are without honor!"

Kamen followed behind, listening to the weird man's rants, and started to find truths in them. If what this Ryoga said was true; than Ranma had been using the Dark Kingdom to win favor with Kamen's bride. _So, Omega Knight is but a demon in sheep's clothing._

_I shall assist this noble person in his smiting of Ranma, and thus free my beloved from his spell!_

The koala, both seeing a eucalyptus youma and deciding that perhaps his ride had no idea how to get him back to his favorite tree, decided to leave the bad human to his own recognizance, and get off while he had a new food source available.

* * *

Beryl looked over her work. The ropes and chains were all enchanted and fully secure, the bed and surrounding area were heavily enchanted as well.

Subject was nude and awake.

_Houston, we have ignition!_

Sadly, this is when Ryoga decided to break through the wall. "Ranma, because of you—URK!"

Perhaps now would be a good time to mention Beryl; while evil, was currently naked as the day she was born, and that Ryoga was caught within the line of sight of her two most devastating weapons.

So, as usual, Ryoga passed out from blood loss from the nasal cavity, causing him to swing his umbrella around, and nail one crazed magical boy in the head, sending him into the nearby wall and out cold.

"If it's not one thing, it's another," mumbled Beryl, as she sent the two fools back to Earth. The fanged boy had threatened her nookie-provider, so he would be executed after Beryl got some. The tux boy ... he was a mood-killer. Seriously, the guy thought he was worth a girl's time.

"We have you at last, Beryl!" cried Sailor Moon.

"Return Omega Knight to us!" yelled out Sailor Charon.

"How dare you interrupt my elimination of a 10,000 year dry spell!" screamed out Beryl.

"Mine's lasted 3,000 years longer," said Pluto.

"Well," she said, Negaverse energy forming around her hand, "let me send you to Hell. Maybe you'll find a few Shikima who'll do you out of pity!"

As the girls began dodging the strikes, Mercury hung back, and made a mental note on the Mercury Computer to check and see if Jusenkyo had any Springs of Drowned Sex Demon.

It's always the quiet ones.

Thus, the Senshi began to play "fire and dodge"; a game pioneered by the Inner Senshi, while a game called "get close and kill the fucker" was being played by the Outer Moon Senshi.

Pluto just stood in one area, occasionally stepping to the side, and firing a Dead Scream.

Beryl continued to dodge their attacks, dark energy coursing around her body as she kept the Senshi from coming any closer to her boy-toy. But even with her fully charged Dark Goddess Strength—at least trying to get Ranma into bed had yielded some benefit—she was still loosing ground, as the girls began to inch closer to the bed holding the bound and nude object of all their desires.

Beryl was pissed. These whores were here to steal her dream man, the one she had waited 10,000 years for. _No, I need to win! I can't let my love go now! I'm calling out to any powers listening; help me!_

Her pleas were met with a flash of light that dropped a certain object into her hands.

Beryl looked from the henshin rod in her hands to the Senshi and back again, before smiling. "Earth Planet Power: Make-up!" she cried, as she transformed into Sailor Earth. "In the name of the Earth, I shall punish you for trying to keep me away from my nookie!"

"Great," muttered Sailor Jupiter. "Now what the hell are we supposed to do?"

"Her power was equal to ours before, thanks to her merging with Metallia," said Mercury. "Now with a Senshi gift, she'll roll over us."

"I know," said Sailor Moon, as she grabbed the remaining crystals from Beryl's nightstand—also pocketing some scented candles ... for later with her soon-to-be husband. Slapping them together with the ones the Senshi had collected, the Ginzuishou was reformed, and began to glow.

* * *

"Ah, this is the life," said Beryl as she petted her fiancée/love interest/advisor/sex-toy.

The former Dark Generals had left no forwarding address. They merely disappeared after showing up in Hawaiian clothes, dropped off their letter of termination of their contracts, and teleported away.

Thus, the Senshi were now sitting at the Tendo Dojo: Juuban, staring at the new Sailor Earth, and cursing once again that there was yet another fiancée for the hand of **their** Ranma.

_Damn Ginzuishou!_

It had played a recording from Serenity based on Usagi's current mindset ... which was on her fiancé of this life.

The energy located and identified Ranma as someone named Lord Ra, then son of the King of the Kingdom of Sol, an assortment of colonies orbiting closely to Sol.

It also recorded that he was engaged to marry Lady Beryl 1000 years before she was born, let alone Endymion.

So, as the new Sailor Earth began cursing her luck for not waiting until her fiancé had arrived before nuking the solar system for passing on the last single prince in the system to a fourteen year old girl, most of the Senshi were pissed that now Ranma's engagements were showing up from past lives.

This now led them to here. Due to so many conflicting obligations—though Nodoka would not shut up saying that as a reincarnated prince he could marry them all—that was until Ikuko shut her up with a right hook—the wedding had been postponed; much to Usagi and Luna's ire—though the moon cat was in hiding due to a certain Dumpling Head spilling the identity of the one pulling the strings in the marriage idea—and the love of the other women.

Ranma sighed as Beryl continued to stroke his fur, wondering if this was the worst he would have to weather.

* * *

A weak little girl sat in her room, admiring her collection of paper lamps, and wishing she was both healthy and had a friend.

But Hotaru's dreams told her that her one true love would appear soon; a pigtail over his shoulder, and a white uniform.

Somehow, she just knew Omega Knight would be her prince one day.

Unknown to her, the sleeping demon inside her also enjoyed those dreams. If they foretold of the future—a possibility since Hotaru's magic was in a state of constant flux due to the possession, then she might have to hold off bringing her boss to this world.

After all, what use was a stud if he was dead before you broke him in?

* * *

On a large golden throne, Sailor Galaxia turned her attention towards a planet called Earth. For some reason, the chaos within her felt oddly drawn to this world, as if all it had been seeking out for this life was there at this very moment.

"Perhaps I should go to this Earth," she said, feeling her heart begin to beat faster at the possible thoughts of what awaited her there.

* * *

Ranma sighed once again. Why was his life such hell?

* * *

Genma sneezed as he began to look through his backpack for stuff to pawn off.

Suddenly, he found an old contract, made from before his training journey truly began with Ranma.

"Hmm, let's see. Made a promise to some tan girl named Urd to make Ranma manly.

"Fat lot of good that did. I don't think the boy's even found a girl; let alone what good they are for."

* * *

Urd sat in her room at the Temple, going over her outfits. As a Goddess of Love—despite the fact that Aphrodite was still trying to get that revoked off Urd's business card—she felt the need to groom a man who would be the very desire of love itself. As such, she needed a male who could win a woman's heart simply from first sight.

"Now, let's see if Genma kept his part of the bargain and kept Ranma pure for me.

"Always did love breaking in a virgin."

* * *

Hild sat at her desk, watching Genma as the man continued to root through his backpack.

It was so rare for her to see Urd go pissed-biblical-divine on someone nowadays with her Father watching over her.

But Kami-sama had issued a special pass for this one time.

So, currently hundreds of demons were placing bets on which part of Genma might get ripped off first, as well as having set up several pieces of equipment to capture the energy from said mortal's soon-to-be painful suffering, to feed the less fortunate demons.

Wiping a tear from her eyes, Hild smiled. "WAH! I'm soon to be so proud of my daughter!"

* * *

In Tokyo Proper, Cologne sighed as she watched her great-granddaughter and the chef named Ukyo fight once again as the customers entered their establishment.

Taking a puff from her pipe, she had to smile. Obviously, this Ranma Saotome had to be something special if he had so many girls fighting over him.

Already, she had gathered the agreement of seventeen women to join the Amazon tribe.

Now, if she could just locate the boy.

* * *

Ranma felt a shiver go down his back. _I wish I had fallen into another spring._

* * *

In the Negaverse, the lone koala quickly took control, being the most intelligent being within that dimension at the moment.

As such, if it was possible, it would have smiled as his loyal subjects brought yet another eucalyptus youma for it to consume.

One day, it promised it would thank the angry one for bringing it here.

* * *

Ryoga looked at the people surrounding him. They were short, dressed in red and green clothes, and sat along a conveyor belt that had toys on it.

Obviously, these were more minions of the foul demon; Ranma, meant to slow him down.

Suffice to say, Ryoga would get a lot of coal and exploding toys in his stocking this year.

* * *

Mamoru Chiba felt violated.

Maybe it was because his true love; Sailor Venus, had rejected him.

Maybe it was because when he returned to Earth, the large giantess known as Dowel of the Amazons was inadvertently knocked out by him.

Maybe it was because said girl grabbed him upon waking up, and dragged him to her bedroom where she made him her bitch.

Yes, thinking on it, he decided that the last one explained his feelings perfectly.

_Ranma Saotome; I will destroy you for what you did this day!_

"Airen want go again?"

_MOMMY!_

* * *

Cologne looked at the ceiling as the tiny sounds of that tuxedo clad boy's crying filtered through to her ears. "Ah, true love."

* * *

Omake by Wargiver:

Ranma-mau stuck his head carefully out of the hole he was hiding in. The small wooded area was easy to get lost in, and as such was his favorite hiding spot. He had long since carved wards against detection, in the walls of his small, cat sized cave. In his little Den nobody could ever find him, or so he hoped.

As he looked around and sniffed he took careful notice that there was no humans near by. He then used his magic and Ki senses to look for anything magical in the area, and what he saw caused him to nearly wet himself. He was surrounded, they were in and behind various trees and although he could not see or smell them he knew they were there.

Ranma bolted, they had found him, he dodged around the tree that the cave was under and ran for it, there was no where to hide now. He dashed left and right dodging trees and could still feel them back at the hiding spot.

He was so distracted at this he stopped watching where he was going, he dashed around a corner and skidded to a halt at the sight he caught out of his peripheral vision. They were all there. It was a trap!

"There you are Ranma! We were just looking for you."

Ranma looked around and saw ALL the Senshi. The inners, the outers, the outer moon, Terra, Galaxia, the Animates, the Starlights (they decided not to take male form for some reason they did not say), and even Sailor Kakuu.

Ranma looked behind them and saw around twenty other girls, all dressed as Chinese Amazons. He knew they had him as Galaxia picked him up. They knew they had him. After he was lifted he saw about three goddess as well.

'So, ' he mused, 'What will they try this time?' he remembered the various attempts that each of them made, which any lesser male who had any interest in women would have long since faltered by now.

Pluto smiled, something Ranma knew did not bode well for him, "Ranma, after hearing the wonderful stories that Venus told us about how you trained her, we decided to get some additional training as well."

"But, I don't got any clothes with me." He lied

Ukyo opened her 'Japanese Amazon' robe and it fell to the ground. "That won't be a problem Ran-chan"

Ranma almost fainted from the girl's smiles, they had him cornered and surrounded. And Galaxia had him in a special hold that assured no escape, though relaxation pressure points.

As Saturn, age 18 now, approached with hot water he remembered the time he almost made an escape to a world without Sailor Senshi, but that Ranma, with a Girl curse, seemed to not want his life, he apparently figured out why he wanted to swap lives. That over-intelligent jerk, but he showed him, he called that Akane an Uncute Tomboy, that should make him regret rejecting the offer.

* * *

Omake by Warprince9:

"So thats my story." Ranma sighed as he finished telling his life story to the two young women. Finally he was safe.

"You poor dear, don't worry, we we'll help hide you." The blue haired Senshi said as she brushed his white fur. There was a knock on the door and the short haired blonde went to answer it.

As Ranma began to purr from were he lay on the coffee table for the Outer Senshi's appartment Haruka is seen in the background pouring a packet of something into a thermos before she walks over to Ranma and Michiru.

"Who was at the door?" Michiru asked.

Haruka answered, "Remember that Chinese Mail Order Catalogue? I phoned in for some of those instant Junsenkyo packets. Care to try them out?" At that she upended the thermos over the white cat.

Ranma hadn't quite caught on to what she was saying before the water hit, he was also surprised to feel a change from cold water, so it was understandable that he didn't think to get his clothes from subspace. And that's how the two lesbians ended up with a very shocked, very naked, and very...er...healthy redheaded girl sitting on their coffee table. After a moment Ranma blinked and looked between the two outers.

"Well, like I said, we'll take GOOD care of you." Michiru repeated grabbing her arm. "Yeah, we won't let those boy chasers take you away." agreed Haruka grabbing the other arm. "Haruka, about that catalogue?" "I'll put them on speed dial in the morning." "Don't forget the overnight delivery."

Ranma felt like crying.

* * *

Omake by Kraude: (based off Ami's tentacle demon comment)

We see several people on the living room of the Expanded Tendo Dojo on Jubaan. It could be said that they are just talking, if not the fact that a red-haired woman was dancing non stop, while waving victory fans, and the sound of several feminine voice moaning upstairs.

Looking at the other people we can recognize Ami's mother, Rei's grandfather, Ikuko Tsukino, and Dr Tomoe, sipping some tea while trying to ignore the sounds from upstairs, and Nodoka's dance.

We can see also a girl with pink hair on carrot like odango, and a green haired boy, around 18 years old, also drinking some tea and eating some cookies.

"So, let's see if we understand everything." says Chisato Mizuno.

"You are both from the future." Seeing the nods of agreement from the children, Chisato continues. "And Ranma is your father." Both children nod again. "And your mother..."

"Usagi" says the girl. "Setsuna" finish the boy.

"And both of you are here now, to prevent someone from kill your father. And to clarify that what is happening up there isn't his fault."

"Yup" replies the boy while the girl just nodded her head, since she was still biting on some cookies.

"So, what is the story?" ask Ikuko while trying to ignore some loud scream.

"Well, you know that Beryl is the Senshi of Earth, meaning that she can control most of the Earth magic," says the boy.

"Also, mom has the Ginzuishou, Ami-mama has the Mercury Computer, and Galaxia have knowledge of magic of several worlds," says the girl.

"Since they agreed to share pops; they're afraid that he would be unable to keep up his performance," continues the boy.

"So, after some research, they decided to mix some Jusenkyo water, modify the magic of the curse, and use it to give father some edge," says the girl.

At this moment, hear some screams, loud enough to make the plaster fall from the ceiling.

"Let's just say that it was successful," finished the boy.

* * *

Omake 2 by Wargiver:

Ranma sat alone in the room; he had just gotten the shackles off and activated his curse for the first time since the solution was decided upon. He carefully checked himself and inwardly swore at the fact that the name tag/tracking beacon shrunk and turned into an appropriate collar.

He snuck out of the room and carefully got down to the bottom floor of the Tendo complex's main building. As he snuck to the gate he heard someone coming and hid. He saw himself being led back into the building by Akane. He sweated at that, just another reminder of the solution.

A moment after he exited the gate he ran for it, he shortly heard an alarm go off, it sounded like a car alarm to him. As he ran he rounded a corner and ran into Kasumi, or rather her leg. He swore inwardly again as she picked him up and looked at the name tag.

"Now now, Ranma-chan. What would Beryl think if we let you get away. Why we would have another war over this again." Kasumi had said to Ranma as she carried him back into the house, completely disabling him by the behind the ears spot that he was weak against.

Across town a shiver ran down Ranma's spine, Ranma was glad that this compromise was made, after all, only two of the outers had female versions of him, and with all the Drowned twin clones they made of him, he was able to escape and managed to replace his moon cat curse with the girl curse he wanted.

She looked across the street and saw Ryoga, she only recognized him because of the girls that kept calling his name. Inwardly she thought if she should give him the technique she used.

"Damn you Ranma, because of you I've seen Hell!"

'Nope!' she thought, 'if he is like that now, no way will I help him! He can figure it out for himself. Perhaps I should move to some place far away and make sure I made a getaway. Maybe America?'

In America several dozen girls sneezed and simultaneously their parents pondered telling them about their fiancé in Japan, but decided to only bother if he was heard of nearby.

* * *

Thank you all for reviewing and reading my story. Though some may be sad to see it end, I had a great time writing this one.

Thank you all once again, and I hope to continue attracting you readers with my works in the future.

See ya!


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